Loneliness... What choices are there?

[demonblaster]

Loneliness is one of the cruelest underestimated places to be in life. Most of us need people.

This is all too common & wayyyy too many suffer this.

What's out there to help people?

Forums is a good place for many that are shy or depressed and not comfortable face on.

Excercising outside, amongst people, eye contact often connects a smile with people. Lifting

Here & assuming other places in Oz there's through community centres volunteers that visit, take shopping, talk, listen etc or phone calls weekly. (GP would know more)

Public transporting, around people, even if not engaged in convo, still amongst it

Interested hearing suggests

This shouldn't be

[demonblaster]

Haha it sure is Random, thanks 🙂

Hate people being lonely, been there sometimes, cruel & unnecessary with massive populations, esp with so many others in same boat.

Often it's also not liking ourselves makes it harder.

Classifieds often have groups or singles (careful) some genuinely wanting company

l wanna come back and read later but l just wanted to sshow some support for this puppy first up but right now l gotta make some tea .

Yaknow, it's a good sign we still get hungry right lol..

[demonblaster]

Walking groups

Again if not one in your area, maybe start one.

Everyone has their own pace & in time with fitness growing it can improve

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi DB and all,

I think this is a great idea.

Years ago (when I was still on medication) I didn't think any 'group' would want me. I wanted to volunteer but thought people would see me as a 'problem' rather than a helper. A friend took me to a "food relief centre" (soup kitchen basically) and I spent the day helping butter bread and cleaning up. At the end of the day everyone thanked me for helping and asked if I wanted to return. I began volunteering 3 days a week and it wasn't long before my cooking skills were realised and I became the main cook.

Due to my MH issues, I was able to 'connect' with the people who came to eat there. I would spend hours each day just sitting around talking with people who were suffering. I didn't realise till then how much knowledge I held in regards to 'support services' in our area.

After a couple of years, I was approached by the local council regarding a pilot program for a service offering support to Frail Aged/Mental Health Clients. (I was just off meds by then) Council provided all the training and courses and I began volunteering there. Within 12 months I was nominated for the state's Volunteer of the Year Award.

All that time, I had spent most of my time with people just like me. I wasn't nervous or scared because they were just like me. I didn't even realise I was helping. I thought I was just talking to people, like me, and making friends.

SM

[demonblaster]

Sad what an amazing post, so happy it worked out so well for you. Well deserved and to think you thought you wouldn't be wanted, shows depression lies to us aye. Congratulations hun.

Would've been a massive boost to your mental health too I imagine.

The power that can be gained in making that first hard step

Looked at a notice board today in shopping centre....

Celtic choir & acoustics... all welcome... even if just to listen. Free!

There'd no doubt be many more opportunities on notice boards around the place.

[demonblaster]

Forums: (company real people) esp good for those not comfortable with people

Mental Health: Offshoot. Here when you can get a spot in a programme, it's great trained excellent lovely staff visit weekly, take shopping, talk, drive, help with problems.

Walking: Amongst it, often eye contact and smiles or chats

Community centers: Have lot of various activities, groups going on including police checked volunteers who visit, talk, listen, help shop, take for drive etc.

Public transport: Amongst people, even if not talking to them still around people and out of house

A friend that was compassionate, understood my mental issues (although can be the only conversation, good to try for more than one friend if possible with common interests helpful x

Groups to meet new people: Advertised in classifieds & ? Ulysses

GP & medical support network....have info for what's out there

Volunteering: Many different places to help & be amongst people

Online meeting friend sites: that people chat to eachother, Google friend sites (suggest WOT (web of trust) that gives peoples ratings on sites & are checked into. Good guide)

Talking & explaining to friends/family...not for everyone but could avoid loss of friendship due to struggling & lack of understanding. Suggest writing as no interruptions or forgotton words.

Pushing through: Very hard yes, good distraction, around people (depression coccoons us making us feel more lonely

Group activities: Excercise classes, singing, knitting, sports, hobbies etc

Learning computers or ? free training for seniors here (dont know if free everywhere).

Classifieds: Many other lonely people, careful although many are genuine just want company

Mental Health groups: Understanding, support and learning others issues

Walking groups: or start one? Everyone has their own pace, in time with fitness building so does pace

Social group: or start one?

Thanks again everyone 🙂

Ulysses & Krystalramone, apologies not getting back to you both, have used input from your and other posts.

Sorry really am for lonely people, it's a cruel existance, hope this is ongoing with more opportunities

United we can make a difference

[Ulysses]

Hi again

i found groups in my city an absolute nightmare because everyone just sits there and stares at each other. Put it this way, I live in a city where a lot of people are introverted but highly educated and I am highly educated but not in the least introverted so social gatherings always ended up with me being too chatty/loud or something like that. After sixteen years in this city I decided to drive an hour away to the countryside. I went to the library and found there was a group that meet once a week. Finally I had found people like me, separate to the zombies I had been surrounded by and rejected by. Now at least once a week I laugh along with the funniest bunch of people and I feel entirely myself. Priceless! Out of all that I say “travel a bit” and “ask at their community centre or library” or just google a town nearby

[Guest_1584]

Great story Ulyss,

But funny ,l've been around very educated people my whole life and man, the ones l know do not shut up . And you'd also think the thing with your town would go with the opposite kinda people to really wouldn't you , or l would so it just goes to show.

l don't fit in my town either although l have met one or two but over all l'm way outa place here, WE'Ve got a lot of surrounding towns here and then the main 25mins up but the one l live in , so far , not doin too well. But l usually get out and about around to all the other towns mainly , for that very reason, l only really use the supermarket here and don't worry about the rest of it anymore.

l am lonely but l'm not really a friendy person , more a partner person. Don't mind a few as long as they aren't in my face, which leads to more a lone time in the end because people either seem too much or not enough.

l do like being around people though , having people about in my town that l feel at home with and things going on around that l feel at home with.

There are places l've lived where looking back now, l wish to hell l stayed .

[Ulysses]

Geez I’m not that bad and certainly don’t talk about my education. Lol I’m this town though you get used to trying to justify your worth as a person. I certainly didn’t grow up in an academic family so I’m not a super brain. Just mean I’m not stupid either

[Ulysses]

Also I mainly fit in with non academics and they are so clever in other ways.

[Ggrand]

Hi DB,

I just found this thread, loneliness, I can't relate to. 4 years on my own. Loneliness is another of depressions favourite food.

GG