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Living in a loveless marriage

Community Member
So hubby (57) and I (38) have been together 10yrs. We both have a kid from a prior marriage, his is grown up and mine is 11 and on the autism spectrum. I have bipolar disorder and have been off work 18mths due to it. Hubby recently spent 2yrs living interstate for work to support us and during that time our intimacy faded. He got back at New Years and we're now sleeping in separate beds. We've had sex twice which I didn't enjoy because I felt guilty it's been so long. Most nights I'll get a peck kiss goodnight and that's the extent of physical interaction. We'll ask each other how our day was but it's more like housemates. I've just started a nursing degree which will take 4yrs, and during that time there'll be periods I need support for my daughter during placements. Is it bad I'm contemplating staying as housemates at least until my study is done? I also have a car debt and debt agreement that the extra help is useful inn knocking down. I should mention hubby plans to retire in 18mths and then we're just living off my part time wage whilst studying (and I move 80% of my annual super contributions to his account for us to access earlier so it's not like I've been bludging off him). I just think suck it up for 4yrs, get on my get career wise and financially, and then decide. In the meantime I can be in a sexless, loveless, cohabitating relationship....
10 Replies 10

Community Member

hi Tia82.

Welcome to the forum and to hear of your difficult situation.

I might (as others have) suggest you seek professional support in regards to your matter as you have some concerns going on in your life that you may want to address, especially if you'll be studying to become a health professional. To be able to care for others, you need to be really mentally and physically healthy - it's a must.

Also, I cannot quite figure out if you're wanting to jump ship or seek advise on how to build a better connection with your husband?