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living alone
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Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?
No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.
l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.
It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.
But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.
This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.
But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.
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Hi RX, Exomama and others here,
I haven’t experienced living alone. But I have felt alone even with people around me. These BB have helped me so much to feel free to talk openly.
I’m not sure whether to start my own thread, or talk here about my situation. I’ve looked at different forum topics and not sure where my story fits in.
In a nutshell: I have a bit of a double life at the moment. I was happily married to my husband for many years. In the last 2 years he has been transitioning to be female. She has only ‘come out’ to a few people so far. We are no longer compatible as a couple. But doing our best to remain family (we have two young kids).
I have a new job. Bosses are amazing. I’m worried about their reaction when they find out about this, as they are devout in their religion which is ok of course - it’s just hard to know how people will accept or not accept things.
Lillylane
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Oh sorry Ecomama about the typo in your name 😞
The letter ‘x’ is right next to the letter ‘c’ on the keyboard.
I sneezed earlier and lost my entire post! I’m doing well haha.
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Hi random and all,
what a relatable thread.
lilylane, your topic thread could fit in where you want it but only if you feel confident to start a thread. It is up to you. There would be people who could relate and who could support you.
One would hope people would be supportive. I had a friend decades ago whose husband was transitioning but it broke up the marriage and she was angry with him. I had been friendly with them both but she felt that if I was friendly with him she would see that as a betrayal. As a said a while ago .
i think one can be alone while in a couple and the loneliest I have been was with someone who didn’t want to be with me.
Random, glad things are looking up for you and you can discuss things.
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Hi lilly .
Oooo that is a biggie for sure , don't be too hard on yourself l could only imagine what you must be going through. l really agree with quirk , you should start a thread about it it's a huge thing and hopefully people can help and support . Maybe in the relationship forum , or l think there's a sexual identity or something similar section too. Maybe look at other forums around the net too that actually specialize in your sort of situation l'm sure there'd be one.
ironically , my daughters bf , well he's ex gf , just came home one night after 10 yrs and said she was going to be male .
Hi quirk and thanks very much for that , all the best hope you've been ok.
rx
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Thanks Rx and Quirky, I really appreciate your responses.
I will start a thread I think. I’ve tried a couple times but I freeze up and the emotions get me in a knot. But I’ll get there.
Thanks for listening 🙂
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lt's such a weird mix living alone as l am once again. l worked out it was roughly 26yrs since l'd lived alone before these stints of the last 5 or 6 or something like that. With my daughters mh issues she's been spending a lot of time over at her mums and gf's been up home most of 4mths now, she's gotren down once for just a quick few days in that . So l've been on my own again roughly 4mths or so.
lt's a weird life , sometimes you can feel really content and relieved you answer to no one , can get home n do what you want be up all night and not bother anyone and feel a strange contentment , but others you do feel the pinch.
My brothers between a rock and hard place right now. He's been with been with his gf 22yrs and most of that has just been visiting ea other for a wk or so from 3hrs away. So most of the time he lives on his own 3 hrs away. But she's just bought her own place and is really pressuring him to move back down to Melbourne with her. He left Melb 20 yrs ago and until now they've existed with pt visiting and that's it. but her place is now an extra 45away and her visions not great and she doesn't wanna do the trips anymore, wants to just stay put and settle into her new place, His place is a really nice one ac property up here and he doesn't wanna leave it and go back to living in melb. or full time with his gf . l mean they're both fair problems but it's gonna be a tough call for sure.
Anyway , atm of cause l'm missing gf and my daughter too but at least l'm also quite enjoying this existence right now too.
rx
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Hey RX,
Hope you get to see your gf and daughter soon. That’s quite a long stretch between visits. Even if your used to it, doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult, so I can understand that you’re missing them.
Your brother’s situation sounds like quite a tricky one. I wonder how he and his gf will work it out.
I’m getting more and more irritated by my in-laws lately. Which is strange because they not that bad really.
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Hey rx, Lilly and quirky
I agree with the point of feeling so lonely when being in a relationship. When you're in this situation the void in my gut was painful!
It was a really horrible experience.
In the end I worked out that I was only "there" for his benefit, there was zero love towards me.
Awful.
So compared to THAT I'm "alone" (with lots of kids which isn't REALLY alone but def alone in "companionship") but I would so much rather be alone than lovely in a relationship.
I think there's a difference between "being alone" and "feeling lonely". Spoke with my Counsellor about it all yesterday. I don't actually feel lonely.
I miss BF being in my physical space!
Hey Lilly
Huge hugs!
That situation must be heartbreaking.
Absolutely begin a thread. You KNOW you're going to get lots of love and support from us all here.
If you're too uncomfortable to begin your own thread, you can talk about it all on my thread. Just go for it. J*, Blue, Sleepy, Grandy, Paws, Tay, blondguy Paul and Croix all pop in.
I REALLY HOPE the religious people at work extend tremendous love and support also as things come out. I Pray the judgement you fear from them is non existent. Truly Christian people ONLY have love for others. My all time FAVOURITE Christian leader is Father Rod Bower who's talks about INCLUSION of ALL people is right up there in the media! He makes me cry when he speaks, his words strike a deep chord in loving people.
Father Rod combatted nasty ppl in our Church who tried to make my 2yo multiple birth babies dress up as Wise Men in the Nativity play.
My boys wanted to dress as PIRATES lol!
Father Rod said "Let them be PIRATES! EVERYONE wanted to be at the Birth of Jesus! I'm SURE there were Pirates there!" and the seas parted lol... pirates were there. My boys were so proud and happy to be included.
Love to you all
EMxxxx
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Thanks lilly , but it's anybodies guess when she'll be down again right now.
Getting to the end of my tether with it all to be honest. She's too unreliable to be this much on the line for her tbh, Got some serious thinking to do.
Inlaws eh , yep can't say as l miss my ex inlaws , those bloody people were like a bad smell , don't miss it one iota.
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Hey rx
Still drawing out the case for GF?
Must be a mind boggling situation for you (and her).
I'm sorry you're going through all this.
I actually had a BAD dream about my ex in-laws last night. Really strange since I don't ever remember dreaming about them before. Go figure.
I won the conflict otherwise it would've been a nightmare lol.
So what's happening now rx?
How are you doing Lilly??? IDK where else to ask you what's going on, sorry.
Thinking of you. Hugs.
EMxxxx
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