living alone

[Guest_1584]

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm and thanks as always.

Yeah , l just couldn't even imagine anyone else, really , l just can't. And l certainly couldn't be bothered with it that's for sure. lf there ever was it'd have to be pretty damn good l know that much and just fall in my lap too l'm afraid haha.

But yep the cards still seem to think so though, or they're talking about gf and maybe that all works out, l can't tell.

Haa no worries at all though cm and thanks for that, the support is more than enough and appreciate . Hope your ok.

Bug hugs.

rx

[jtjt_4862]

Heya RX,

Yeah, I hear stories about how people make money from buying properties, and then renting them out. But just managing all of them seems like a tough task, and almost like a full time job itself. I guess when seeing it as a full-time job, it's probably more viable to do so. But say if I'm working full-time, and need to manage rental properties too, I'd be super stressed out about it. Could get a property agent to help manage the rent for as well, but also a bit of management required in that. Ah well, I'm sure you'll be able to find the answers that best suits your situation.

It's really strong of you to still be supporting her and chatting with her. Definitely worth working out how you're feeling about this and whether you are doing yourself any favors indeed. It wouldn't be a bad idea to call out for space if you need it.

Oh yes, I certainly did get a house. I'm moving in tomorrow so I'm very excited about it. Though, I'll need to save up to buy furnitures. Have been browsing online MarketPlace and Gumtree for second hand furnitures a lot recently. Really looking forward to decking the place out over time, and enjoying the things around that area (gotta wait for lockdown to end first though heh heh). It's definitely a decision I'm happy about, as it's something I wanted for myself.

Take care too RX, hope to hear from you soon 🙂

Jt

[Guest_1584]

Hi jt and all.

Your moving in tomorrow , wow eh , big congratulations mate fantastic. Just thinking about the awkwardness of trying to move if your in a harsh ld, what a pain but eh still gonna be exiting stuff for you man.

Yeah l know people that work full time and own a lot of investment properties too. Even agent managed though for me l'd hate it. There's still heaps of things coming back to you through complaining tenants and stuff breaking down . l really dunno how they do it . l have had mine with agents but l prefer doing it myself and making my own agreements with tenants . l also choose tenants that are happy to fix stuff too so that they don't bother me with it and if they have to spend anything l just knock it off rent.When l was single met a chick , she owned 5 investment properties.

Afraid l don't have to work much out about us still talking already know but it comes and goes. And as per through the thread the deciding whether to or not has been the tough part.

But very very sadly it is getting less and less just of late. Poor things just yet moved again too and that's really thrown and unsettled her yet again and even more so now, if that's even possible. But nah , me mostly leaving us talking at all up to her isn't some game either btw , it's just l've hoped it helps her cope better .

Buttttt, alas . Much sadness this last few wks though bc we're talking less and less especially since she's moved yet again , it's all just even more for her to deal with and so l've laid very very low giving her space to adjust and deal with things unless she needs me. And so the less and less .

Unfortunately it's very possible given the shape she's in we may just drift out of contact all together from here , l could easily let that happen and it is very sad for sure as it's sinking in just of late. Of course as far as from my point of view goes, l know it's probably what l need from here on and it's probably well over due too butttt, still , that doesn't make it any nicer.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Just reading back and wondering how to say things l'd like out of my head , and of also just what has been the sense of it all and life this past 6yrs.

And so not only thanks to all but also to makin a change, bc there's a lot of sense and beautiful attitude in things he has said, so thanks again for that my friend.

l do want happiness for her , with or without us, l'd love happiness for her , and a peace , and an end to everything she's been through. And l'd love of course peace and happiness for myself too with or without us should it go that way.

lately so much of this last 6yrs has been flashing around for me. And as makin has said , l too should be soooooo grateful and thankful for the thing's and time's l've had during it all , if nothing else was to come of it , l could well at least just be so thankful for the incredible times l've been blessed with that many unfortunately would only dream of , through it all. l suppose that's one way to look at it all , even with things turning out in the way that they have. 6yrs ago l for one even myself could've only dreamed of ever having some of these times again.

Do things happen for the best , l wonder , l'd say some of it has , but then l'd also say it was a gift and that l blew it, unfortunately.

l suppose whatever is to come in the future from here , will tell all in just what was and wasn't meant to be and was it all for a reason and lead up to whatever might come from here. When we met , we'd' thought our whole lifes had happened in the way that they had , and her ending up on the other side of the world , for us to meet.

Butttt, doesn't look now as if that was the case , so the next obvious thought is was this 6yrs for some other future reason yet to be revealed. ? And of course no one can know that with anything in life until after the fact , so we see l suppose.

l do feel like though that l was handed on a platter more than l could've ever dreamed of at this stage though , and that maybe that was the future , and now it isn't.

Who knows.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Well we've talked again and we've decided during the way things stand atm with her situation and frame, we'll cool the jets until if and when there is an out come , and perhaps see where we're both at then. l think this is about the third time in talking about it but it';s never eventuated however this time, l think it's all we can do best we make the effort this time.

But man she's amazing , just an incredible person, no wonder l've hung in there she just even at a time like this, never ceases to amaze. She's more concerned about me in all this and me looking after myself while we're apart as she's not here to look after us , than herself and her own situation. She explains over and over of how important it is and makes me promise black and blue that l'll take care eat right be safe and try to be happy, it just boggles the mind. Even with where she's at she worries 10 fold more about her son and me than she does herself.

Things feel very strange , life , where to , what will be , l don't know.

rx

[ecomama]

Hi Rx

GF made you promise some really good things. Look after yourself. Take care. Try to be happy.

Clearly she loves you very much.

I guess this means you're both pretty much hanging in there but with low contact?
Until a resolution happens for her...

I did respond to your thread this week but my post was vetoed - oops. Sorry bout that.

It's an absolutely perfect day here.

What do you have planned for today?

EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Hiya em , and thanks for that.

Yeah l lose a few too , usually the ones that have given me major brain strain haha , and after all that effort , poof.

She does yep , absolutely . Tbh though ,we don't know what it will mean. Maybe it goes on for yrs and in the end someone else comes along , or maybe she gets through it all and we get to pick up where we left off, just no way to know. l do know though that she needs to soldier on for as long as it takes and there just isn't room for us in there right now. So l need to go on with life l suppose, or l quietly go about my business and just wait it out, no idea tbh but the answers will come.

Nothing too exiting haha , just working today , all done now and resting up tomorrow. lf it's a nice day l might go somewhere get out or canoeing , beach, we see. How about you , out in the yards tomorrow l'd be guessing , sunshine the girls and lovely gardens.

Enjoy eh whatever it may be.

Big hug.

rx

[ecomama]

Hey rx, hugs right back at ya buddy!

I hope you DO get out and go canoeing or just get a different view of the scenery for a while.

Nup I've been laid up since RE injuring my back pretty badly on Friday - yeah in the garden lol.
So badly that it was causing breathlessness, ouch.
Even the kids are feeding the pets, can't crouch down yet.
Chiro this week I HOPE he can fit an appt in... 3 vertebrae have now popped out lol, I'm a wreck!

And our sweet lock down continues. Hmmm.

BUT I'm working and have an income so I have hope that things will improve.

Re: GF and the sitch.
Feels like a continued limbo again.
I'm really sad for you for that.

When things open up in NSW again, could you travel up and get a motel for a few days with her?

IDK I'm the ever hopeful relationship friend lol. I want you to keep hope alive, because you're so hopeful.

My sweet, faithful gf from school just got pretty much catfished by an old friend of hers (not mine, I don't know him). WOW it knocked her for a 66.
Her 40y marriage ended a couple of years ago.
Then she connected with this guy she knew all this time.
His marriage had ended 9y ago.
When she FINALLY got to see him after 6 months of communicating for hours every day, they had the most wonderful week.

Then he went back to his ex wife. 😮
WHAT?

It's a mess. He's now NC with my friend and she's devastated.

Man have things changed in that ole dating world out there. Morphed maybe, maybe nothing's really changed lol.

Anyway off to see if I can drive the kids to work! Wish me luck and send me healing back thoughts lol.

My body is letting me down atm but it hasn't controlled my MIND.
I can still dream of things I'd like to do, plans I have, adventures to enjoy.
I'm determined to squeeze every moment of happiness I can out of this life and do THAT I will!

Love EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Hiya em and thanks as always.

Nah no more limbo we've decided , life's gotta go on and l;m not in hope and l don't want her to be either.. Anything future is just in a maybe later what if basket from here. lt could be different if she had the mental room right now to ride it out together but the poor thing doesn't and it's probably best for both of us anyway. l mean she could come out of things all fixed and quite wealthy, orrrrr be told to leave the country nothing would surprise with Australian imma sooooo, it's gonna hurt a lot less by then if it's not good news so there's that too. And it could be yrs with all the Covid hold ups so there's that too, l feel this way is best.

Sorry to hear about your friend. l'm in a forum it's a world wide thing but mostly US based l think . But my God , l can't even advise any of the women with their dating woes, either they just have the worst pickers l've ever heard of or it's the men or culture out there in the world these days, bit of all l think but it's just a mess. And the men are all on there going through just as much bs with women , so these days it's just hands in air, shakes head, for me. l'm actually opting out of that forum it's just too another world for me.

Me personally though, l'm extremely picky and if l do say so myself have very good tastes in soulful one off women so it's moreso a circumstantial out of our control situation. What next , who knows uh, finish my house and sell first of all l think.

Sorry about the back too , backs can be so damn painful. l had trouble in my 30s and l've used care and exercises since bc l don't wanna go there again let me tell ya so all has been well thank the Gods since.

Dreams are good haha , nothing wrong with those babies and looking forward to the day is there eh.

Take care

rx

[Guest_1584]

Beautiful Sunday.

Worked pretty damn hard this wk and really needed an out . Went over to the beach and lake , walked , sat , wandered , sunshine and lots of beautiful water, people wandering about , just what the doctor ordered.

Back to reality tomorrow .

rx