The past few years have been rough, I had a great partner and we struggled with fertility for years and after going through the difficulties of IVF for 10 cycles, the pressure and the emotions ruined our relationship which was devastating.
I soon found myself head over heels for what I thought was the perfect girl. She had battles of her own that manifested about 3 months into the relationship and literally just walked away. She came back in and out over a period of 6 months which utterly destroyed me. I had no self confidence left and was in a very low place. I was made aware that she had BPD and having researched it I can identify the patterns - the stupid thing is I still love her because I see the good in her 😞
After getting through that, I thought an angel had walked into my life. She shared my passions, she was my best friend. I actually understood how good a relationship can be at that point, after years of misery really. She left me last week, out of the blue. She said she was unhappy but she'd never said anything - we just got back from an amazing holiday. The real pain is that she won't even talk to me, I feel worthless - she told me she loved me the last night she was at home and now I don't know where she is or why she left. I am so shattered, I don't feel like I can go on. I don't know where or what to do. I can't sleep or eat and feel like I'm in a dream.
I've been to the doctor and got some stuff that's supposed to help calm me down but it's not working. It gives me 5 minutes of peace before it rushes back in. I am in such a dark place and I feel so betrayed and alone, I don't understand why this keeps happening to me. I honestly have been hoping that some accident happens to take me out just so I can be at peace and not hurt anymore.
I run a business and I have all these people relying on me right now. I can barely function, I'm letting everyone down. I just want her back, I don't understand what has led to this - it's so cruel
