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is closure worth it

Community Member

I'll keep my situation to the point and as vague as possible.

I've been suffering on and off with mental health problems. I've only since the start of this year started to open up. I first opened up to my gf and then a friend and then parents. Not too long ago from me writing this my gf broke up with me. It felt very out of the blue and the reason vague. We have since been in contact and we are on good terms but there are so many built-up problems and thoughts and I just want to feel some closure to help me move on.

I guess I'll be honest, I still love her and miss her. I don't know if I truly want her back but I definitely know that I want to move on from this pain and get on with dealing with my mental health and the rest of my life if that includes her or not I don't really care anymore.

So my plan is simple, I've written up a few paragraphs telling her how I feel and I was going to wait for a certain time, deliver the message and then just be done with it. I expect to get nothing out of it but this is just something that I feel I need to do to help me move on.

is this a normal or even healthy way of dealing with this kind of stuff? this is my first breakup so I guess I'm just going by my gut feeling.

thankyou for reading.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hello Fruitsnacks

You seem like a sensible and caring person. Being dumped is never easy and only the passing of time will heal the wound. You appear to have accepted the loss of your girlfriend and you have every right to seek the type of closure that works for you. It is not weird, it’s perfectly normal.

I believe the written letter expressing your feelings is an under rated tool in modern communication. That’s a pity, because a hand written letter can convey sentiments that the spoken word cannot. I congratulate you on your idea and I encourage you to do it.

Good luck and take care.

thankyou for your reply. It really means a lot to me.

for this whole process of me moving on, I've always tried my best to be respectful, sensible and non-confrontational.

It's comforting hearing a second opinion and I'm very thankful for it.

now I guess it's all about letting time do its thing and I'll very soon be able to go in peace.