I would like to meet my biological daughter

[yowiie]

Hi Guys

I am pretty new to this forum, with this being my first post

my reason for being here is for advice on the best way to handle a situation 

back in 1979 I had a couple of passionate nights with a young lady, who consequently got pregnant.

I was working away after the 2 night stand and was notified some months later by a couple of mates who resided in the same town as the girl, that she was pregnant with my child.

being 19 myself I wasn’t sure what to do, but did how ever try and make contact with her through her parents, but they wouldn’t allow me to talk to her

so I figured maybe it’s not my baby and tried to forget about it, but it was always on my mind

20 years later I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital and the young lady was a nurse there

i was polite to her, I never asked about the baby as it wasn’t my concern. She basically called me everything and know one wanted to see me, she asked who do you think your going to see why your in town.

It got me thinking maybe the child was mine

I asked my mother if the young lady’s offspring resemble me in anyway, so being a mother she was only more than helpful in her offer to help solve the mystery

The young lady is now 42 and lives in the same town as my mother. Mum ran into her in the street a month ago and chatted

My mother rang and was in disbelief,  the young lady is the spitting image of my oldest daughter, skin colouring , facial features, build, etc

I asked my sister who still lives in to find some pics of the lady,!she managed to find several on Facebook and sent them to me

I was speechless, there is so much resemblance to my daughter it’s uncanny

I am quite certain now that the lady is my daughter, my question is how do I approach her mother to see if I can get contact

after her outburst at the hospital I can’t imagine she would be to happy to hear from me

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear yowiie,

Like TonyWK, I think that maybe it would be best to wait until the girl, who you think might be your daughter to get her DNA results first…Then if she is your daughter you can then slowly start to connect with each other….If she’s not your daughter then maybe it will help you to move forward in your search ( if that’s what you want to do)….to find your biological daughter..

Kind thoughts Dear yowiie, and wishing you all the best..

Grandy..

[yowiie]

I have written to the young lady a couple of weeks ago, but at this stage yet to hear from her. I imagine that she would be in 2 minds about returning my message. For me to come out of the blue after all these years would certainly rock the boat and cause some confusion for her. I would definitely love to try and form some sort of relationship down the track, but I aren’t hopeful.

I am constantly thinking of her and just can’t get it out of my head, I try and talked to my adult kids about it but they don’t really want to discuss it with me. 
not sure how long I should wait , in the hope of a response, before I try and forget that she exists

[white knight]

Hi again

This person if yours, is between you and her. Expectations from others will lead to you being let down. 

Personally,  I'd try to talk directly with her. If it drags on, it loses its strength.

TonyWK 

[yowiie]

I guess that’s the best approach, I will be in her home town next week. Fear of rejection is my concern, 

[white knight]

Fear of rejection is understandable. Her Fear will be there also. 

In life there are tasks we can't avoid. This is one of yours. 

Let us know any developments. 

Be brave.

TonyWK 

[yowiie]

Very kind and wise words, i thank you for the advice whilst I have been here.

One hr ago I got a fb message from her, quite a nice message. She has been putting of replying to my letter, but she has reached out and is prepared to get her dna done ASAP and depending on her results I will I turn get mine done with her

its a step forward that I thought would ever come to fruition, I couldn’t be happier that she has contacted me

i will keep you all up to date

Thanks for listening

[white knight]

Wow, I'm so happy for you. On holidays atm, this has topped my week.

It's a deal changer, she is obviously in need to know. I won't get ahead of myself with this as it could go either way. But if you are her father your con ern, your empathy and your spirit will fulfil her life.

Fingers   crossed.

TonyWK 

[yowiie]

Tony i am the moon, and will be elated if she gets back to me. Forty three years I have carried this and kept to myself, the satisfaction I got when she messaged me was hard to describe.

She has done her Dna ,I presume with the person that her mother said is her father ,I guess that how it’s being done.

At this stage she doesn’t want to talk, which is understandable as I am a total stranger to her, so I guess I will have a lot of sleepless nights ahead in anticipation for that call
Once again I thank you all

[yowiie]

just thought I would let you know how things are going.  We had our DNA done  and it came back that I am not the women’s daughter, I am in shock as is the rest of my family.

For what ever reason , we believe she had some one else do the dna sample. I can understand it to a degree, in that she doesn’t want her mothers story to come unstuck and the truth be told

i know she is my daughter and it’s out of my control. I can only wish that she does come around and atleast acknowledge who I am

She is constantly on my mind and to forget about her and carry on as if nothing has happened is impossible