I think my boyfriend "fell out of love with me" because of depression.

[Mavster]

Hi,

I want to know if anyone has experienced  my story and can give me advice.

My boyfriend and i were together for around 8 months....madly in love and very close. However, about a month ago, he started becoming moody and withdrawn. This coincided with expensive  root canal,  a back injury, not getting enough cash flow and increased stress at work.

He also lost interest  in sex and was moody that his antibiotics  forbade him from drinking. He became snappy and described it as not "feeling like himself" as well a saying he was irritable an didnt want to b around people. I was worried, as this seemed like depression. But i was concerned maybe something was wrong between  us to. So i just gave him time and was supportive. 

After  big fight, he assured me i was the best thing in his life, his best friend, and he would be "back to normal soon." Within  week, i was dumped via tezt.

The only explanation he came up with was  that he no longer loves me. I struggled to understand and am still deeply confused and hurt. He says his "feelings just changed". He now says all these things he was doing, the moodiness an withdrawal was because he was unsure of his feelings for me.

I struggle to believe  this and think maybe he is feeling this way because he is depressed.  I still love him so much and am hurt and angry an confused.

Can anyone help?

[white knight]

Hi Mavster, welcome to beyond blue forums

I want to help you by easing your pain with the truth. I think he has rebounded a little and told you he wanted to remain together to bide time. He found splitting up difficult and that delayed his actions. I dont believe depression had much to do with his decision. That's my opinion of course.

Separating and loneliness are the two hardest and hurtful situations one can endure bar losing a close friend or family member from dying.

So, you should gather your emotions together, pick yourself up and get on with life. On occasions allow yourself some "me" time to grieve. This is normal.

There are a few threads on this topic that might help. Use search. Even if you just read the first post.

Making sense of grief

The grief of separation

Grief- dealing with it

Good luck   Tony WK

[Cymru]

I imagine a relationship ending as you described would hurt. My saying that isn't going to make if better. That's the thing; if something is important it will hurt even more. I do recall my former partner telling about some research she read; by a cosmetics company that there was a sensitive zone around 7 months where folk recommitted or ended a relationship. Of course there solution focused around making effort about your presentation and buying their products. Anyway, weld joke about having past various critical points. It won't help you to mention that the relationship did end. I can only say that I've been in relationship longer than my siblings put together; I just lacked continuity. Thus, I do know a bit about being dumped. And it does hurt. It doesn't matter if friends say you'll get over it, met someone else, better without them and the usual retorts. I will add that as I lie to think I'm ok despite being dumped too many times, so I'll just assume you are too. All the best.