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i made a bad choice

Community Member
Im 14 years old and i gave someone my virginity....i was in a sexual relationship with my friend and i slowly got feelings for him, i got  attached and he decided to date someone and cut off the sexual relationship, i feel really stupid and i made him upset because i lied to him about not being a virgin and ivehurting myself again because i just feel like such an idiot i made him upset and i feel like i deserve pain because i constantly make people upset and i feel like all i do is ruin peoples lives
2 Replies 2

Community Member
Dear nion.  You poor thing.  It sounds as though he lied to you to get you to have sex.  He's treated you bad.  Was it your first love, it always seems to hurt more when it's a first love.  Try not to feel stupid, he told you lies to get you to have sex, then he dumped you.  You've done nothing wrong, just a bit too trusting.  You don't deserve the pain you're in, is there someone you can talk to.  At 14, when we fall in love, it's usually pretty intense.  You haven't ruined any lives, he's hurt you and made you feel worthless.  You're not worthless, you are a very warm, loving person.  Don't let him destroy the lovely person I feel you are.  Do you have an older sister or a best friend.  Next time you see him, smile.  That will hurt him more.  You don't have to say anything, just smile and walk away.  Honestly, he's not worth losing sleep over.   It doesn't matter how he feels, you concentrate on ignoring him and pretending he doesn't exist.  He sounds quite a nasty person who doesn't deserve your tears.   

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi nion,

Pipsy is so right with her views and suggestions.

I'm a 60yo man that knows men very very well having worked with them all my life. It isn't your fault that you trusted him. This is very normal and common. Some men are like this and there is little we can do about it other than be wiser next time.

Not all boys are the same either. You will meet really nice guys over time.

There is a saying "life is full of regrets". But life can also be full of love when you find true love. I found true love at 54yo. It took that long!!

All the best and I'm proud of you for posting here

Tony WK