I’m having a really hard time-

[alina_01]

I bet half of you couldn’t care less, but my parents are really strict on studying. I’m still in year 7, but the moment I come back from school, I spend the time up until dinner studying, trying to get better. My parents say that they won’t scold me for trying my hardest, but deep inside I think they want me to be more like my sister, smart, pretty and amazing.

I started off in a low math class at the start of this year, and aimed to move up. There’s this boy in my class who is really popular, he used to be in my math class. I’d admit I had the tiniest crush on him, but I dumped the idea the moment he started picking on me. “You suck at math,” “Bruh, your handwriting is so bad, how do you even write stories?,” “You’ll never move up”

and I lost so much hope, that I actually gave up. In the end, I failed my semester test, and ended up with a score of 81% and I couldn’t get a better score than him, so he was moved up instead of me. My parents didn’t show their disappointment, but I knew that they were. My sister started off as a smart kid, and I just started off dumb. I doubt I would ever move up, but I still kept trying. Every time I make a mistake I feel so dead. I don’t think I should even work this hard to get nothing.

but if I don’t, my parents will be even more disappointed. They always look at my sister as an amazing person, and I’m just no one. They don’t treat me the way she gets treated. Not only am I not allowed social media and games, they think that every time I get a bad score is because I’m going behind their back and going on social media and playing games. They think that something is going on at school and keep asking me if any boys are embarrassing me. I just say it’s ok, but it never is. I can’t tell my parents this because if I do they would make me transfer schools, and I don’t want to. I just wanted a normal life, no drama. But because of that kid, I have to suck it all up and pretend he doesn’t exist. But he’s going to be in my class for a while, and with my friend crushing on him and asking me to observe him for her, and me trying to avoid him….

I don’t know how this is gonna turn out.

[quirkywords]

Alina -01

Welcome to the forum and thanks for making your post which is honest, relatable and moving.

I feel everyone reading your well written thread would care about and would be able to understand how hard year 7 is and how hard you want to please your parents.

Your school must be very competitive if 81% is seen as a low score. 
I don’t know anyone who found year 7 easy as it is a change from primary school and everything is different. 
By writing this you will help others who are finding life hard in year 7 because they will know they are not alone.

Did you find it help to write down your thoughts.?
We are listening and you are not alone. 

[Juliet_84]

Hi Alina,

Welcome to the forum, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the amount of caring people on this forum 🙂 I myself was in your position all through primary school and high school. It seemed to take me ages to learn concepts that other kids, including my sister, picked up easily. But I had a lot of perseverance so I kept working at it. I continued to struggle all through school and got a fairly decent marks at the end, but nothing special. But I decided that I wanted to go to uni (the first person in my family to do so), so I started with an lower entry degree and I found that I loved uni, loved the freedom of it, the way it was taught to me, and I excelled. And then I was able to transfer to a higher entry degree and now have a very good job. What is the point of my example, well there are two things: )1 the importance of persistence. Sure I had people who were more gifted in the degree than me and it still took me a long time to grasp concepts but I ended up beating those people because I studied harder and that beats talent every time, the talented people get lazy eventually and stop studying, and as things get harder, they run out of talent. 2) I was terrible at a lot of subjects at school. But they make you take all the subjects so that you are covered for whatever career you choose in life. If there are subjects you hate then it doesn’t really matter, you probably won’t want to work in those areas anyway. I ended up going into science, which needs a bit of maths (which I’m terrible at), but everything is done on calculators now anyway so it doesn’t really matter. I was so depressed at school thinking life would always be like this, but it really isn’t, as it gets older you have choice. 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

it seems you feel you cannot talk to your parents, as you fear they would transfer you to another school. I don't know is this is something they have said to you? Also if some person has told you that you are dumb that does not make anyone feel any good about themselves. I wonder if you cannot talk to your parents, whether you might be able to chat with your sister or teacher or counsellor at school? They might have some ideas for moving forward. (You said you were in grade 7 so I am thinking you have started high school.)

There are things I want to say, maybe things I wished people said to me at your age... you're awesome!

[geoff]

Hello alinta, every child is different and one can't be compared to another, not unless you're identical twins, but even they may have other thoughts with the other twin joining in, but everyone has other attributes that a sibling may not have, so what your sister can achieve shouldn't be taken that you can do as well as her are even better.

Parents can have an adverse affect on how their child performs, the more pressure they put on you the worse the situation may become and even if they don't say much, their behaviour can do all the talking.

They should let you develop your own skills because eventually you will be on your own, so you need to maintain your own direction by yourself, in other words, you can't become a doctor like your parents want you to become, if you're not interested.

The boy you had a crush on would not be suitable after what he's said to you and dealing with that now is much better than being in a relationship and then trying to cope with a breakup, and being a spy for your girlfriend is not on, because what this does is begin resentment and that's definitely not what you want to happen, look after yourself.

You can also contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, web chat or online and if you do please stay in contact with us.

Study at your own pace, you can only do what you are capable of doing and should not be compared to your sister, her direction in life may be completely different to what you want to do, just be yourself and everything you do is just as important for yourself.

Geoff.

Life Member.