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I’m cornered

Community Member

Idk how to start. I’ll just put it out there. I’m getting bouts of anger these days because of all the pent up frustration of living with my husband. He fights with all his family members and/or other people if he feels like he has been “disrespected”. His ego is so bloated but so fragile that even a non-familiar coworker spelling his name wrong feels like an attack to him. I have to be the middle man in the fights and try to keep things afloat when the fights happen. So this stresses me out. But that’s not the worst. The worst thing is when he and I play games for recreation and he loses. This even includes board games. He starts blaming me and saying that I am boring or I don’t know how to play or that I am the reason he lost. I don’t get it!
He is so self entitled and gets annoyed easily. Sometimes he even wakes up angry. For no reason! I have to walk around eggshells 24/7 and think about how he would feel or if he would like or not like if I did or did not do something a certain way! And on top of that, he keeps gaslighting me so much I’m so tired! The emotional stress is triggering so much in me. It’s not just emotional, there has been one instance of physical assault. We talked through it but he’s not getting the help he said he would. I have no hope in this relationship at all.

To be honest, I pride myself for being a patient person. But I’ve lost all patience now and I just want to leave. In fact forget about patience, I am now just turning into a bitter, guarded, scared and approval-seeking person.

please help.

3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni


Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for sharing how you feel. It sounds like you are exhausted and annoyed at how your husband reacts and acts in situations. It can be tough to deal with somebody like that, especially when u r worried about what to say or do next.

Have you spoken to your husband about your feelings towards him? Communication is always key.

Couples counselling is always great when both sides of the relationship aren't working out.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Froggy_you..

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums..

I am so sorry that your are going through all that...

I can relate so much to the way your partner is treating you...it’s so not right...He has committed a crime when he physically assaulted you...My late husband did the same to me...but at that time I thought it was okay....didn’t think of it as a crime...but it is...and not acceptable at all...

I was to afraid of my husband to leave him....I stayed with him for 38 years until he passed away from cancer 9 years ago....if he didn’t I would probably still be with him if I survived his narcissistic ways...Always on the lookout about how his mood was..walking on eggshells, afraid to do or not do things, scared the kids would be to noisey..the list goes on and on....If I had my time over...I would have left him....I’m not telling you what you should or should not do....that’s a decision that only you can make....

You could both try couple counselling, if he is accepting of this...or as our lovely Sophia has suggested...communicating your feelings, thoughts and how his ways are not respecting of you...

One thing that is so very important is to be very caring and gentle on yourself..you need to protect your mental health...maybe if you talked to your Dr. about what’s happening and how your feeling...they could get you some professional help for your mental health....and if needed also some good contacts to help you...move on..if that’s what you want to do....

Dear Froggy, you are important, please stay safe, and care for yourself as much as you can...

Here for you...when you feel up to talking again...

My kind thoughts with my care lovely Froggy....and a gentle comforting hug...if you like/need one..


Dear Froggy_you,
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members.
We can hear from your post that your husband is putting a lot of stress and anxiety on you and want to praise your handling of the situation so far. Feeling as though you are constantly having to walk on eggshells and watch what you say or do can be very overwhelming and we are so pleased that you have reached out and engaged with the community.
We hope that you know, no one deserves to feel or be abused mentally or physically, and you should prioritize your own safety and mental wellbeing in this regard. We would encourage you to contact 1800RESPECT and speak to their lovely supportive counsellors, they offer advice and support to anyone who has been through experiences like this and may be able to provide specific recommendations, or resources for your situation. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or visit  https://www.1800respect.org.au/
As stated by fellow forum users, this is a partnership, and you should not be treated any different to how your partner expects to be treated and he should never be putting you down for his own ego. Being able to discuss these issues with him would be helpful, but we understand that these subjects can be difficult to approach and should only be done if you feel safe to do so.
Alternatively if you wish to talk to one of our experienced counsellors, you can use our Beyond Blue support service either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support .
Your safety comes first and if you feel unsafe, threatened or there is any risk of physical violence we urge you to contact Emergency services on 000.
We hope that you find the support, experiences, and suggestions of peers within the community to be helpful and we encourage you to continue engaging on the forums.
Warm regards
Sophie M