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I’m affecting my partner

Community Member


I didn’t know where else to put this but I woke up at about 3.30 last night (that’s been happening a bit lately) and of course when I’m awake my thoughts take over. And I ended up crying, and waking my partner up and breaking his sleep, then I didn’t end up going back to sleep until 5, and I forgot he has an important meeting this morning for work which he wasn’t keen for. But fast forward to this morning, I got up to make breakfast for him as I always do and he barely spoke to me, he said goodbye and kissed me as usual but he looked so tired. I say sorry a lot (probably due to a toxic workplace) and I know if I said sorry for waking him that it would have irritated him so I didn’t. I didn’t mean to wake him and I’m scared I’m really starting to affect him and he doesn’t need that on top of what’s a stressful time at work for him.. ironically he works in community mental health (he’s a nurse) and I’ve found it hard to talk to him... what does that say about me?? I’m so tired this morning and I was meant to be going to the gym and all I want to do is sleep..

4 Replies 4

Hi Britishinaus,

I'm sorry to hear that things have been so difficult lately. Often we do find that when we are struggling, it impacts the people around us as well. The way our mood interacts with our close relationships can negatively impact how we feel about ourselves and our emotions, but it can also be a way to motivate us as well, both to try and take what responsibility and agency we have in the situation so we can continue to try and recover, and to also offer support to our loved ones in return.

I hope that you will be able to get some rest today. In the meantime you might also find it helpful to read over our threads on Staying well on what our users have found helpful in coping during tough times, or give us a call at 1300 22 4636 to see what other ways you might be able to get more support.

Community Member
Hey Britishinaus,

Thank you for posting, and telling us about what has been going on for you.
I'm sorry to hear that you have been going through a difficult time, and we are here to listen to and support you.

What Sophie_M has said is spot on, and let us know if there was anything you found especially useful on the Staying well thread!

I know your primary concern is how your awakening impacted your husband, but I was wondering if there were any particular thoughts that created the distress for you? It sounds like you've been waking up during the night more than usual, and I'm wondering if there is a certain reason for this? I can understand how hard and frustrating it can be to have thoughts that keep you up at night, and now you've noticed that this has impacted your partner.

I hope you'll write back, and that you take some time today to get some much needed rest.

Blake_S :)


I stayed in bed for an extra hour and then I had to get up. But I’m waking up in the middle of the night even if I’m extremely exhausted when I go to bed.

Hi Britishinaus,

Thank you for replying to my post - I apologise for the delay, I'm only online Wednesdays and Thursdays. I'm so sorry to hear about your disrupted sleep, and the repercussions it has been having for your partner. I always find it so frustrating when I wake up in the middle of the night - so I do relate a little bit to your situation.

How has your sleep been since we last spoke? I know you said you're waking up in the middle of the night, even when you're extremely exhausted. Has this still been occurring over the past week?

I was wondering what kind of support you'd like from the forms? That way, we can help you through this difficult time in a manner that would be the most beneficial for you.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Blake_S :)