I feel like i have no one
I am so alone
I have a bf who seems to love me in words only and I'm so tired of waiting and hoping for him to do more. I work full time while he seems to spend most of his time playing computer games. He has some mental health issues of his own so I want to support him, but can't help but feel he won't help himself and is content with how things are. He screams at me every so often when things get too much for him, yet never seems to want to change.
I guess this isn't really my issue...I have no friends and no one to talk to about any of this and am constantly scared that I don't really matter to anyone. I had 3 close friends throughout high school and uni, and they all dumped me and I really don't know why. They're all still friends and have no reason for excluding me other than that's life.
I'm fed up with life. My life is nothing so bad I'm sure, compared to many. But I'm so tired of it all. I'm screaming and no one can hear me.
I am sorry you are feeling that you are not appreciated by the people you've invested the most into. That's a very painful feeling isn't it?
It sounds like your boyfriend is not naturally gifted at making you feel valuable, and maybe just surviving the best he can at the moment. Have you tried asking him to do a little more to help you feel appreciated? Sometimes that's all it takes.
Regarding your Uni friends, its hard losing them, they mean a lot don't they? But don't take that personally. There could be all sorts of reasons for that, nothing to do with you. Usually its more to do with them sharing mutual interests, or a similar lifestyle or job situation. People drift for so many reasons.
What I suggest, is first try to work out what you need from your boyfriend to feel appreciated, and don't be afraid to ask him to help you with that. Do you share finances, or that kept separate at the moment?
Welcome to this caring forum. This is a friendly and supportive communitive.
Bindi has given helpful ideas.
I can hear your frustration through your words " I am screaming and no one can hear me". I think many can relate to that as you feel your are shouting but it there is no one listening.
Friends sometime come and go in your life. At a school reunion I met with 2 friends who had not talked to for decades , and barely spoke to at school. We found we had much in common and now keep in touch.
There are people who have the same friends all their lives but many of us change friends, get new friends and meet up with old friends.
Maybe your b/f uses the computer games as a way of coping. It sounds like he is struggling a bit. Maybe if you can explain how you are feeling and you understand his issues you may be able to support each other.
On this forum some is hearing you when you scream.
I wish I could say things were different
I so appreciate the kind words from Bindi and Quirky.
I am exhausted. I want to give up. I still have no one and still feel so alone. The past year has served blow after blow and I am doing all I can just to keep my bf and I going. I can't get pregnant and this hurt just adds to evertthing. Next week we will have no money for anything and I can't cope with the stress of this alone anymore.
I want a friend to talk to so badly..but I'm so shy and scared to reach out in person. Everyone I work with thinks I'm so bubbly when really it's all an act.
For now I just keep on going