I don't think this makes me a bad person at all

[Albert_247]

I genuinely am not sure if I wouldn't care half the time if my father passed for the most part. I do feel guilty to think sort of cold like this, as long as I had my financial security together that's the main thing,    I justify these feelings because my father is a self centred grandiose narcissistic man. He looks through to me as being like bipolar, handi capped & generally stupid. He doesn't validate the ideal standards for me to have independence, purpose & meaning. He spreads rumours and tells me directly that I am a social inept hermit, just because I prefer my hobby's and have introverted nature. He manipulates what's the better intelligence, His very devious and secretive when he wants to be. He treats my mother as a maid that carry's on to much. Sometimes when you do things for him, instead of the decency to say no thanks or thanks he just sais I didn't ask ( at times ). He talks behind peoples backs and even when you know it he denies it and and try's to undermine your suspicion or raise his loud voice to keep you in silence, it's been one of his narcissistic controlling tactics for years, If my brother or myself got into any driving situations he doesn't see the possible vulnerability with the driving & the roads, He would only blame us no matter what happened regardless. His even said when his gone your going to be homeless and crying, During primary school he would tell us " Good " when he knew we got hurt at school. His told my mum if she keeps yelling at him for bringing all of his mothers old furniture in this modern house that she can be thrown out with her two children and deal with life. He was even telling his friends and agreeing to pull me out of my high school because I used to skip going because I was being bullied back in those days, He ignores you when you talk also. So no I wouldn't truly feel I am the bad person for not caring

[therising]

Hi Albert

I think it makes sense to become completely emotionally detached from someone who's always led us to suffer in a whole variety of ways. I see it as 'the constructive process of dis-appointment'.

We could appoint someone the role of 'He/she who inspires me' and we can look to be inspired by that person but they may consistently refuse to accept that role. We'll feel them dis-appoint themself from the role we wish they'd fill. Over and over again they disappoint, to the point where it can become depressing. Eventually, for the sake of self preservation, we'll begin to dis-appoint that person from the roles we'd given them. Kinda like 'I no longer appoint you as the person who will fill the roles of carer, inspiring muse, thoughtful, kindhearted, deeply feeling' etc. Then it can become 'I appoint you the realistic role of depressing critic, abuser, unloving, aggravating' etc. There's no disappointment there as the roles are always filled. It's kinda weird because it can become a matter of 'I completely accept your overall nature and I do not like it/you at all. I could not care less about you, just as I could not care less about anyone with this nature'. Then it's kinda like 'Ta da!', emotional detachment magically happens one day, at the end of a process of gradual constructive dis-appointment. Of course there can still be a twang of disappointment felt on occasion in a whole new situation. Kinda like if you fell and broke your leg in front of that person and they laughed before walking away. It's like 'What the heck?!! Seriously? Are you that low? I had no idea until now, until I felt that new level of low'. It's a matter of 'How low can someone go?'. You find out as you go along. The most challenging part can come to feeling and observing the low without becoming emotionally involved in it. Kinda like 'Oooo, I felt that, them laugh and walk away. Now, I'd better phone for an ambulance'.