I don't know where im going in life anymore.

[aesjhin]

Everyone always tells me "the only people you can trust is your family" but to me, that isnt true. Everyday it feels like im a stranger in my own home, my parents treat me like absolute garbage, and they dont even consider me as a son. and thats not even the worst part. its like im a ghost, and the way its making me feel is affecting everything else around me, and its raising my anxiety onto a whole new level. I can't even talk to my siblings about it because most of the time, we're always fighting, and that gets pretty dangerous. I don't even feel like i can talk to my friends cause i hate feeling like a burden, and i hate wasting peoples time. Also because of the way its making me feel, I quit my job, and contemplating dropping out of uni and just running off to a new country never to return again, not that it would make me feel any different but at least that way, id be free from feeling like crap from my own family. I do want to leave home, but i cant afford living on my own, i cant trust random strangers, and my friends arent even considering moving out. I feel stuck and I'm on the verge of giving up.

[geoff]

Good Morning Aesjhin, thanks for posting your comment.

I'm sorry for how you feel and the situation you are in.

If you continue uni, then you maybe be or perhaps you are getting a payment from Centrelink which would entitle you to get the bond money and first couple of weeks payment from them so you can move into a one bedroom flat.

Going o/s won't fix the problem, it will only make you feel lonely much more than you are now.

Talking to your friends maybe a good idea because you never know if they are in the same situation and are looking for someone to talk to, but your doctor would also be a good starting point.

Can I ask you whether you like uni more than the job?

Geoff.

[SubduedBlues]

Hi Aesjhin, welcome to bb

Home is supposed to be where we feel safe, and it really sucks to be in a house that is not a home for you. When we realize what we are doing, or not doing, is not providing us the life we want, it is then that we may need to change our approach towards our own future. When you said, I do want to leave home, but i cant afford living on my own, reminded me of when I wanted to leave the place I was residing, but couldn't afford the change. My solution was to join the military, it got me out of where I was, and it created a whole new path in life for me. But it cost me some things too. I had to leave my residence (I don't miss that place), the housemates I didn't like (I don't miss them either), my few friends I did like (I lost touch with them too), my uni course (I never went back to finish it).

I did get a lot of new things though. I got a new residence, new friends (some I like, some I don't), new education, new career, new girlfriend, and most importantly my mother's praise and father's pride. Where this decision worked well for me, I cannot promise that you will have similar results. But it is worth considering.

Another option to consider is the Peace Corps (or whatever Australia's equivalent is). It is volunteer, you don't get paid, but you are housed, fed, and are given a wonderful education and experience that you can build a life and career upon.

I guess what I am saying, is that if you find that you are not happy with where you are... what are you prepared to change in your life to find your chance at happiness?

SB