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I am a mum, a girlfriend, a sister and daughter? I forget who I really am?

Community Member
Hi there my name is Mandy, I am a mum of 5 gorgeous kids. Been with my partner for nearly 11 years but am still just a girlfriend or mistress as he is still married to his ex wife. I work 10 night shifts a fortnight. I don't have any friends or time to make any. I only have my sisters but they all have there own lives. How can I feel so alone when I have people around me I love? I don't even know what I like to do for myself anymore!!
1 Reply 1

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Mandy

welcome to this post

im Sorry you forgotten who you are . You say u r just a girlfriend ..and mistress..

so I just know that when I was with my husband ..I felt alone .i was married but then I had this empty hole ..and didn’t know who I was ..physically numb ,kind of like you .he had emotionally checked out , so I was left bewildered . Turns out months down the track I found out he had a mistress. So I think for the women involved ....both side wife or mistress.....guys or girls ...really just being cheated on by partners..that’s why we feel empty .and unfulfilled .and might as well be alone . Sometimes too we just feel we stuck in this rut and that there is no way out. But there’s always a way out ..but what we mostly afraid of ..is the CHANGE that follows .

a wise young guy said to me once ..and I always remember it forever

“we do what we do ...we do what feels good ...and when it no longer feels good ,,we just won’t do it anymore”

i related this to my marriage ...I was married 14 years together 24 years ...

the marriage wasn’t working ...I did not want change ...I chose to stay in it to salvage whatever was left . I found out about the affair ..but I still hung in there...even if it was killing me everyday ... oh I just have the scraps of whatever is left of my husband . It was so silly ..what I did to myself ..why I chose not to walk away .. the mistress then harassed me..which I’m glad she did ...otherwise I would not have smarten up and left with my 9 year old . Now I thank them both ...as I’m in a much much better place ,

That’s my story ..

thats how I manage to get out alive ..I know being either a wife or a mistress or even the husband ...none of these situations are ideal . Question is who out of the three ...who is gonna be brave enough to say “..I’m out and I want change .”

Stay strong Forgotten ....but you won’t be forgotten for far too long .

i hope you find the strength to do what you need to do .

whatever u do ..I hope u always put yourself first ..do some meditation video ..Jason Stephenson helped me a lot ..letting go sleep meditations ..it gave me the strength to get out of a toxic relationship .

good luck I hope this helps you by sharing my story as I feel your pain .

stay well ..