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How to stop being alone

Community Member
Hey I'm 21 and never had a girlfriend. I've asked out 3 girls but been rejected every time. It feels like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I went on a bunch of forums on Reddit but I'm not sure if they have the best advice. What should I do?
5 Replies 5

Dear BobbyOz,

Thank you for finding the courage to post about your confusion. As a very supportive community, we do our best to try and help.

We understand that you are feeling alone and lonely, and you are confused about where to turn for advice, or what your next steps might be to find friends, and eventually, a loving relationship. And, the truth is, one of the deepest desires for all of us is to be loved and respected.

A few questions to ask yourself:

How do I want my future partner to treat me?

In order to find a partner who will treat me that way, how do I need to treat her?

What sorts of groups of people, and physical activities do I need to get involved with so I can maybe meet potential partners?

How do I need to interact with those people so I appear as the nice person I really am?

In order to practice and become better at connecting with other people, we would like to encourage you to call Beyond Blue at 1300 22 4636, or To use webchat, Click Here 
call Life Line at 13 1114
Or Kids Help Line at 1800 55 1800.

Remember that we are always here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello BobbyOz, just because you have asked three girls out doesn't mean there isn't anybody out there who isn't attracted to you.

We are always tempted in asking out the best looking person, rather than someone who is more suited towards us, and when this happens then your love will grow stronger and they will be the best looking person because you both like doing the same activities and have similar tastes.

Take pride in looking for someone like this and not the most beautiful person, because everybody else will want to go out with them.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi BobbyOz,

You will meet her she’s out there.

Just be patient what’s meant for you won’t pass you by.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear BobbyOz,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums...

I am sorry you feel alone...

I do agree with what Geoff has said...“just because you have asked 3 girls out, doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone out their who isn’t attracted to you”..

One way you could try to meet like minded people..both boys and girls..is to join a group that holds your interest...ie: walking groups, cycling groups or a group that’s passionate about the hobbies or interests that your passionate about...I’m wondering if this is something that you might try....

People with the same interests...have similar things to talk about which is a great start for friendships to develop....getting to know each other first and enjoying each other’s company...

Kind thoughts Dear BobbyOz....with my care.


Community Member

gday BobbyOZ

sometimes in todays world we are told by cultural narratives that having a relationship is the most important thing. I Think this makes us feel like we are inadequate.

But i see where you are coming from too

I am 28 and haven't had a relationship. It used to bother me. Reddit can be good but also can be challenging because it may lead us down rabbit holes

I read this today: "There's a difference to tease out between really wanting certain experiences in your life, and feeling that you aren't a worthy human being for not having had them, which just isn't true."

I love it and I think its a great piece of advice too.

I do hope you begin to see yourself for what you are my friend - worthy - regardless of relationship status.

But also too - good on you for asking those girls out. That takes guts dude. Doesn't matter that it is a rejection because in the end we learn from those experiences.