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How do i deal with this?

Community Member

So just to start off...i have had 2 bad relationships which involved been physically abused, verbally etc. Also cheated on and repeatedly lied too...Well 2.5 years ago i met a great guy who isnt like the others...however in his line of work he is often dealing with female customers. I am on bluetooth with him after i finish work as he works long hours and it allows us to chat and stay in contact.

Sometimes i here a female call him "darlin" in the context of "thanks darlin" He says it doesnt do anything for him but there isnt much he can do.

Also some of them sound too bubbly and almost glad to see him...i trust him but i hate that they do this...it brings back past cheating from others and flirting etc...i have bad dreams, thoughts and pics in my head of flirty behaviour. ..Yes i have spoken to him but i am struggling with it and spend alot of time worrying, crying etc...Any advice would be good at this point as i dont want this to continue...its ruining my life and we are now engaged so i should be enjoying this new chapter...

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi needtochat

Bit of a strange question but how do you raise each other's spirits (aka raise each other)? No need to answer, just something to ponder. Let me elaborate:

  • Is he addicted to your smile more than anyone else's smile, because it gives him a real buzz?
  • Does he love the unique way you speak to others, to the point where you inspire him to be more caring himself?
  • If he's feeling a little flat at the end of the day, do you give him some kind of charge he absolutely looks forward to? Could involve the simple things including a charge he gets from active relaxation.
  • Does he enjoy the way you challenge him to raise his sense of consciousness? Does he see you as a loving teacher in his life?

I could go on but you get the gist I imagine. And I'm sure he raises you in beautiful ways, which is why you love him.

I believe one of the most significant factors regarding love involves the way we raise each other. Such raising can be almost addictive because it brings us to life. Why would we want to look at anyone other than our partner when they are the one who truly does bring us to life in so many unique ways, so much so that we want to spend the rest of our life with them.

If you tend to romance each other (soulfully breath life into each other), keep up the romancing. This can be seriously fun for the rest of your lives together. You can always ask him how he'd like to be romanced or excited. If you know all the things that mean the world to him, perhaps consider concentrating on these avenues. By the way, you have the ability to teach him how to romance you through such example. Invite him to accept the challenge so that the both of you grow through such loving challenge.

If you bring him to life in so many sweet and challenging ways, I imagine he will not be able to love anyone else the way he loves you.

Take care and enjoy raising each other 🙂

Hi needtochat and hi to you too therising

I am not sure that there is anything left to say...what an amazing post....wow....what heartfelt and soul inspiring words, you are a true gem.

Thank you for these words, you have not only hit a note with needtochat but a chord with me.

Thank you