His dad is ruining my relationship

[Lu8Lu8]

Hi,

I love my boyfriend. We’ve been going out almost 4 years and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. The problem I am having is that his dad is almost constantly calling him after work or on his days off to come help him do his work. My boyfriend already works long hours, often works overtime and has two jobs of his own already. I hardly see him and when I do he’s so tired that we often just end up eating dinner together and fall asleep cuddling. Now to the problem. His dad works long days often to 12-1am in transporting and moving livestock. I get that the job needs to be done or he doesn’t get paid. There’s no choice in that matter. But calling my already exhausted boyfriend who already is too tired and has too much of a heart to say no to come help to god knows when in the night just seems unfair.

There are no boundaries being set and it has me worried for so many reasons. But when I bring it up with my boyfriend he brushes me off and says he can’t say no as he doesn’t want to cause drama in his already messed up family life. But it’s taking a toll on him. He can’t see the impact it is having on his other work or the turmoil it is putting me through. It is making me wonder whether this relationship is worth staying in (which is just a heartbreaking thought). 

I need some advice on what to do because this is never going to get better if I don’t.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

A commitment to a partner means finding solutions from other people's ideas which is good that you are asking here.

My only concern is you having thoughts of separation. You'll face many issues, even much more serious in your lives, facing them, finding the answers is part of commitment. 

One answer I think, is when his father rings for his help, let your man sleep and go and help his dad. When you arrive and he asks what's going on, you can tell him "he's exhausted". 

This will also give you the opportunity to get to know his dad better and he- you better. 

The other option is to turn phones off at a certain time.

Have a good chat together and put a limit on how often he help him late at night. Stick by it.

Your objective is to not allow this to adversely effect his good relationship with his father.

TonyWK