Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please.

pipsy · ‎30-10-2014

I was abused my by own family as a child and now I feel as though it's starting again. My husband knows about my past but says I have to 'rise above it', easy for him. His parents have been very nasty to me and I feel everytime he visits them (often), he's rewarding them for hurting me. I've tried to explain this to him, but he 'switches' off. What can I do to overcome this 'betrayal' feeling?

geoff · ‎18-12-2014

dear Pipsy, thanks, and please let me know.

There are a couple of issues I would like to address from your last reply, but I will wait until I hear back from you from the result. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎19-12-2014

Hi Geoff. Pip here. Bit confused, I see on my email that you had written and wanted a reply. Maybe I sounded a bit confused in my last correspondence. You have been so helpful and kind, please feel free to ask anything. I was a bit panicky when I said about taking out a restraining order. I won't do anything rash. I may just change my phone no. I haven't really done anything, just tossing ideas around. L is coming up tonight to take me out for dinner. Not really looking forward to it. Just really keeping the peace as best as I can. He's complaining his mother is getting very hard to deal with. That's his problem. He got huffy when I said that, that didn't worry me. I really couldn't care less about him or them. I doubt we will go back together. I don't feel anything for him, I think he knows that now. I have been fairly busy with my neighbor this week. I have also been following the Sydney siege. I think I've got problems. Hear from you later. Luv P

geoff · ‎20-12-2014

dear Pipsy, all's OK with me, we are only talking like friends do, and only talking aloud around the problems that you are facing.

It's a good idea to change your phone number and perhaps make it a silent number if it's your landline phone, or if it's your mobile then don't tell L because mummy will find out.

How's your friend coming along.

I worry so much about you having radiation, I know that it can be good, but I have known a couple of elderly gentlemen who I have regular contact with who had it, but the end results were that they were burnt, I'm no doctor, my Dad was and my twin wanted to be a doctor but just missed out, anyway I can't suggest you not have it, just worry for you.

What are you doing for Xmas, I'm catching up with my 2 little grand children who I just love on boxing day.

Pipsy please you won't upset me my skins tough. lol L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎20-12-2014

Hi, Geoff. I too am scared about the radiation (if it comes to that). I'm absolutely terrified of having the biopsy again. When I had the last one, I nearly passed out. I'm trying to take it 'one day at a time'. As far as Xmas, I'm not sure what's happening. I thought I was going to be alone (not that that worries me). I had an unexpected card from a cousin who lives not to far from me in Qld. I have spoken to her and I may go to her on the day. If I am alone, I have plenty of movies, I can connect the computer to the t.v and watch utube, I am not worried as I said. If you want to say hello, that would be nice too. Last night (for the record) went as I thought it would. We didn't argue, but all he could talk about was them and how bad she is becoming. I didn't say she'd rung, couldn't be bothered getting into a pointless argument. L is working X day, He is very worried about them - as usual. Still says he is taking me for the biopsy. Don't trust him though. Hope your Boxing day goes well with your grand children. How old are they? All the best P.

geoff · ‎21-12-2014

dear Pipsy, I bet your scared of the biopsy, I wish I was there to comfort you.

Can you open up Facebook so then we can talk by there once I know your email address.

If you don't have one it's quite easy to register your name and a password, and then I can you what to do, my goodness you can be the computer genius. lol

Try not to spend Xmas day by yourself, although I'll be around.

My little grandchildren are gorgeous, one is 3 1/2 years and the other one has begun crawling, they are both girls, and I speak to the 3 1/2 year old every week.

Try facebook it's much easier than putting a photo on here. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎22-12-2014

Hi Geoff. Would like to go on Facebook, however, the problem being, L's friends all use it and I don't want anyone to know what I'm saying. L himself checks Facebook everyday and if he sees anything I've said, all Hell will break lose. Is there a special line for Facebook I can use? Had a busy weekend, my neighbor had a Xmas do for her family Saturday night and another neighbor said there'd been a complaint. All lies, but I spent most of yesterday with her as she was very upset. She's a lovely lady and she's been real supportive to me, so I help her whenever I can. I will contact you Xmas day, would love to say hi. Talk to you later. Luv P

pipsy · ‎25-12-2014

Hi Geoff, hope you're having a good day. Mine's not too bad. My brother phoned (I don't have anything to do with him as he abused me years ago, but he's so thick that he wouldn't understand if I told him to 'get lost'). I have forgiven him for what he did, I'll never forget, but he can't hurt me any more. L's moved back home. He came back yesterday when he took me out for lunch. I can't really kick him out as if it came to the crunch he wouldn't go permanently. He was so fed-up with his parents, he couldn't take anymore. I don't feel sorry for him, but where else could he go. I'm not that cold. He wants me to reconcile with them, that's not going to happen. He's still taking their side. I said, he should go to counciling to understand how trapped they made me feel. Maybe a councilor can explain better than I can. When my brother attacked me, he shut the bedroom door, closed the windows and told me if I told dad (I never did), dad would leave and that would be my fault. I was only 15 and believed my brother, I know now that's untrue, but at 15 you tend to believe your elders. My brother is 5 years older than me. For years I prayed for his death. L knows this, his mother went on at me one day and his father joined in. I felt as trapped that day as I did when my brother attacked me. That day with his parents, I did walk out and L told them I was being rude and ignorant. I have tried to explain this to L but he refuses to listen. It's good he's at work as I love the peace and quiet. We did have a good day yesterday though. If someone offers you something and you say 'no', that should be the end of it, with L's parents, they ignore you and question why you don't like something, if they like it, so should you. That's basically what happened the day I walked out of his parents house. His mother is rude and bad-mannered, his father is a chauvinist who feels women shouldn't know anything as that would make them equal and that can never be. His father wasn't in the army, they would've knocked that rubbish out of him quick-smart. My dad was, he never put women down, I never heard him say anything derogatory about women, he just didn't think that way. Sorry to rave on, feel better for it though. Have a good day, I'm going to watch some music and get lunch. Merry Xmas, xxx Luv P.

geoff · ‎25-12-2014

dear Pipsy, how are you going, and no I don't know about anything that's private rather facebook.

I'm just wishing you a Happy Xmas of joy for some but not so for others, but you have some neighbours that you love to help and vice-versa, which is always good.

I will be away for the next couple of days, or part of, as I'm seeing my little grand daughters, who rang me this morning with so much joy and happiness in the one who can talk and is so excited that she will see me.

It's always the drive that I hate, but once I'm there I feel comfortable, so please I hope that some joy can come with your friends over this time. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎30-12-2014

Hi Geoff. Pipsy here, don't know if you're home but if you are, hope you had a good Xmas. I had a very quiet, peaceful time. L was at work, although he came home early. We actually had a good time together. He hasn't been in touch with his parents since he came home, he is going there Friday as it's her b'day. I'm not going, I've told him I won't be bothering with them. We don't discuss them at all as we wind up arguing when we do. He is going to bring them up to our house one day, when he does, I will go out. If he doesn't like that, tough. He still agrees with them about me, that doesn't worry me anymore. We are living as flatmates, he doesn't say anything about that. I am going to just get on with my life. If he wants to be part of it, he knows what to do. If he wants to live in the past with them, that's his choice. I will have to cancel Centrepoint until I apply for the pension next year. I want to continue to live here as I love the peace, I guess I'll just have to accept the situation and what will be, will be. The marriage is over really, I think L realizes that now. He won't admit his parents destroyed it, though, he never will. They will always be number 1 in his book. Such is life eh!!! Cheers P.

geoff · ‎31-12-2014

dear Pipsy, what you have said all makes sense to me, the marriage is over, just as any relationship with his parents has been over for you for a long time.

Went and saw my 2 little grand daughters 7 months and the other one turns 3 in Feb., I was a year ahead as I thought she was going to be 4, but they are a real joy and just so beautiful.

Stayed the night with them, but sleeping on a different bed so low to the ground didn't do my hip any good as Feb is fast approaching for the op, and I am certainly not looking forward to it.

What's the latest on your biopsy, or is it over the Xmas period that is stalling results.

I will probably be off line all of February due to the op.

Take care. L Geoff. xx