Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please.

pipsy · ‎30-10-2014

I was abused my by own family as a child and now I feel as though it's starting again. My husband knows about my past but says I have to 'rise above it', easy for him. His parents have been very nasty to me and I feel everytime he visits them (often), he's rewarding them for hurting me. I've tried to explain this to him, but he 'switches' off. What can I do to overcome this 'betrayal' feeling?

geoff · ‎07-12-2014

dear Pipsy, all of this sounds great, as I can see you gaining momentum, enjoy yourself if you haven't gone out or if you have I hope you had a good relaxing time.

There's only one time when he will be able to stand up to her and that's when she passes away, and then he will always say that he was going to tell her off, you know the same old story, but the 'bird would have flown'. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎07-12-2014

Hi Geoff. Had a great time last night, even won a lucky door prize. Never won much in my life, so that was great. You're right about when L will finally stand up to his parents. However, that's his problem. I'm going to get on with my life and try and forget I was ever married to such a weak person. I do feel sorry for him for allowing them to rule his life, but he made his choice. One day (as you say) he will realize what he has thrown away, all I can say is hope he's happy with the choice he made. He's their son, he was never my husband. I don't hate him, I don't really feel anything but pity for him. He let them ruin a good marriage, then tried to blame me. In time maybe I'll forgive him, but for now, I just want to get on with my life. Thank you for your ongoing support. Hope we can keep in touch. L. Pip

angel24 · ‎07-12-2014

My name is Joan, my husband is in a Nursing home he has dementia he is quite advanced now and I go in most days to feed him, I am now in my 70's and I am so very lonely, even though I do go out to different clubs and outings etc., I still find when I get home I am so alone and have no one to talk to, apart from the grieving for my husband I have to put up with this loneliness, I have a son but he is busy with his family and has a stressful job, so that leaves me with no one to talk to. I now know I am suffering from depression, but every tablet I take seems to have bad side effects, how do others copy with loneliness would love to hear back.

geoff · ‎08-12-2014

dear Pipsy, well 'he's made his own bed' and has to suffer the consequences, and has no one else to blame.

You may forgive him but I think that's after he's gone.

Please let me know how you go with centrelink, and don't worry I'll be here to keep in touch, but hear from you very soon. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎10-12-2014

Hi Geoff. I got the papers from Centrelink, filled them out (as best I could) and dropped them back in this morning. All I can do is sit and wait till I hear back. I was told it won't be this side of Christmas. He came up yesterday for the meeting here in the village. We didn't have much to say, he looks dreadful. I got the impression he feels guilty for what's happened, but he's the only one who can do anything. I had managed to find some recent pay slips from his work and the lady said I could get a partial payment. I don't think he's well, I don't mean mentally. I think there's something physically wrong. He did say he's going to the Dr's, he didn't say when, but he did say he's hoping to stop work early next year. He had to leave as they want to go shopping and he must take them. I wisely made no comment. What's the point, it's all been said. Life goes on. Quite relieved when he left. Feel nothing at all for him. Cheers P.

pipsy · ‎15-12-2014

Hi, it's Pip. Never rains but it pours. Had phone call from L, Wants to come and see me Christmas Eve. Wants to take me out this Friday. Having pre-Christmas lunch with parents Friday, working on the day. I had some rough news from my G.P today. I had a lump removed from my left breast a year ago, have to have another biopsy in January. There is a mass at the site of operation in my left breast. The specialist is talking radiation. G.P says I may have to have liquid removed from my breast. I really don't need this hassle from L at this time. Wanted to tell him to go to Hell, but don't want any more arguments. He's not happy with them, hard luck. Don't know what to do. I may have to move from here next year if L wants to come home. Like I said, it never rains but it pours. Don't want to live with him while they're still alive. I'll never get any peace. Luv P.

geoff · ‎16-12-2014

dear Pipsy, you didn't tell me about this lump as it must have always been a concern for you.

You know your health is very important to you and to me, so I'm cross with you, but will overcome that very quickly, because now you have told me, so please it's now you have to keep me informed.

L's not happy with them as you say, well he has made his bed and now has to sleep in it, if he was strong he would have stopped all this rubbish that mummy and daddy have put onto him, but no, he's too weak, and when they pass away he will call fox or wolf whatever the saying is, but no one will believe him, he's burnt too many bridges, that's his fault and no one else's.

I am not going to ask any questions at the moment, but this is a reply back to you so you know I'm still here.

I have scrolled through page 2 everyday but I couldn't see a reply back from you, which there was so I'm just so sorry to have missed your post, please forgive me.

I will get back to you tomorrow as it's 1.00 pm and my logoff time, but will certainly check at 12.01 am.

Take the greatest care pease. Love Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎16-12-2014

Hi Geoff. Sorry to have upset you about not mentioning the lump. Please don't take it personally that I didn't tell you. It's just that with everything else going on, this was just one more problem. The lump was found over 20 years ago, but the Dr's in their infinite wisdom decided that it was nothing to worry about. I was sent to a hospital at the time and the out-patients Dr advised me to take 'Evening Oil Of Primrose'. I did for several months, but of course the lump didn't dissolve as promised. Last year my breast swelled up and I was rushed to the Dr's. He in turn sent me to be x-rayed. The x-ray showed the lump had grown. L and I had booked a 3 month overseas trip. The Dr wasn't happy about me going, L (selfishly) refused to cancel the trip saying he'd lose too much money (I hated him for that). When we came home, the lump was removed and we discovered it had cancer cells in it. I went for a mammogram last week, 12 months since the op. That's when all this came up. L is now all apologetic saying he will take me for the biopsy. My neighbor's taking me. I told L not to bother. He's insistent that he take me. My neighbor has suggested I take out a restraining order against L. Thinking about it. Again - please accept my apology for not telling you. Luv P.

geoff · ‎17-12-2014

ear Pipsy, I had already when I was typing a reply back to you.

Well L has stuffed everything, which we both know.

If you take out a restraining order where will place you in terms of living.

I have my fingers, legs, arms and whatever else I can crossed and just wish so very much the very best for this biopsy.

Your friend is your god send, and I know that you will let me know. Love Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎17-12-2014

Dear Geoff, thank you so much for your ongoing support. In answer to your question about where do I go if I do take out a restraining order - the short answer is - I don't know. To give you a bit more info about this biopsy. If the mass is liquid, it will be drained, possibly an ongoing situation. The specialist is also talking radiation. To say I'm scared is putting it mildly. L's mother rang and basically told me that it's not cancer, it can't be (she should know, she knows everything). I didn't tell L she had rung, he wouldn't believe me if I did. I'm thinking about changing my ph no and making it private and to Hell with them. On top of all this, my neighbor over the road (not the one who's taking me to get the biopsy done) was taken away by ambulance this morning. She's gone to Palliative Care. I really don't want to leave here, I'm safer than I've ever been. We used to live in a very criminal environment. If L wants to come back, I'll have to relook at the whole situation. I'll let you know how things go. Cheers and thanks again. P.