Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please.

pipsy · ‎30-10-2014

I was abused my by own family as a child and now I feel as though it's starting again. My husband knows about my past but says I have to 'rise above it', easy for him. His parents have been very nasty to me and I feel everytime he visits them (often), he's rewarding them for hurting me. I've tried to explain this to him, but he 'switches' off. What can I do to overcome this 'betrayal' feeling?

pipsy · ‎28-11-2014

Hi Geoff, Pipsy here. I have been thinking about changing Dr's for some time as I'm not really satisfied with my bloke. He is supposed to review my medication regularly and doesn't. The problem being finding another Dr. I have asked my neighbors around here. Some are happy with the resident Dr, some aren't. I guess it's personal choice. I might start seeing her in the New Year. I've suggested to L he should maybe go and stay with parents for a while as they seem to be the only ones he listens to. He's looking at retiring at the end of next year. Mummy and daddy have vetoed this as he can't get a part time job as he has no real skills for anything but security work, police force or prison officer (which is what he is). Whatever I say is wrong, whatever they say he listens to. He goes back to work next week, but I think if he stays with them, it will give us both breathing space. He says he doesn't want me to go, but he isn't giving me any reason to stay. He worries about money, whether he has enough, who does. I said as long as we can pay our site fees, power, phone, living expenses, everything else, we'll be okay. You can't worry about what might happen as you don't know. As I said, mummy and daddy seem to be able to help him where he ignores me. The bank has told him we'll be able to survive well into our 80's, he's still worried. I don't think he'll live much past 80, I think worry will take him. I'm sick of him being so negative. I haven't been able to access our bank, as I said that's going to take some time. Daddy's nearly 90, I think he'll go for years yet. He needs them more than I thought. That's life, I suppose. L. P.

geoff · ‎29-11-2014

dear Pipsy, it sounds as though you are living in a small on site unit/house in a caravan park, I maybe wrong.

I wonder whether he feels compelled to talk to his parents because we both know they are quite strange, but certainly demanding, and I would like to think what he would be like if they weren't around.

Have you checked under the the top tab 'Get Support' for a list of doctors, as there maybe a female doctor close to you, as with your current doctor, I personally would have doubts myself if it's a balance of 50-50 liking/disliking him, so it's a big change, but it maybe beneficial for you to do so, because it may set you on another path, one which we have spoken about.

See you feel. L Geoff. x

cyrstal · ‎29-11-2014

Hi Pipsy,

Our own personal happiness begins with us, i am 66 single and have been for some time.

If you are fed up and unhappy you are the only one who know's what you want to do about it and how to change being fed up and down in the dumps to being how you want to be as an individual and live to what bring you the most joy and happiness in your life.

I do not own my own house never have, i have rented all my life i have brought up two children taken in ironing and cleaning work to support us as their useless father never gave a dam about me as his wife or his children.

I live on a disability pension paying a high rent leaving me without very much to survive on but i do i manage because i am careful with money...I would rather live on my own than put up with any crap from in laws or a husband that did not respect me , defend me or love me...I decided a long time ago to stand in my own power and live to how i want to live not except surviving as being happy putting up with what you are now but that is your choice we choose how we want to live and it is up to us to change any part of our lives if we are unhappy no one else can do that for you we are totally responsible for who we choose to bring into our lives as a partner , lover, husband etc.

Yes it is not easy to leave and start on your own at any age but you can do it if you have had enough of being treated badly,

abused, bashed and humiliated we have more strength than we give ourselves credit for we just stay in unhappy situation because we believe we cant do any better for ourselves so we allow ourselves to be treated in any ole way that gets dished out to us by those who are supposed to be loving and caring for us..

We have the power strength to change our lives around regardless of our age if i can survive two violent

abusive husbands living in poverty at times with my two children working jobs to just put food on the table moving around from place to place for years and years having nothing at all but a beaten up car to get us from place to place and having to start all over again many times you can make your life better too. i have lost my son at the age of 19 to a motor bike accident, i have lost both my parents, good friends and relatives have had no one to turn to at different times in my life but have been helped by God and the Angels to get through many times we are all looked after and guided we just need to trust in that knowing that we can have a better future.

Godbless.

pipsy · ‎30-11-2014

Hi Geoff. We live in an over 50's lifestyle resort village. We've been here 2 and a half years. I'm rather relieved to say L has gone to live with his parents for the time being. We had talked about him not wanting me to leave and I said, I was unhappy about the way things were going. He took me out last night and on the way home he told me he'd decided to move out for a while. He said he needed time to 'get his head together', whatever that means. I slept better last night than I have for ages. I don't know what he told his parents and I really don't care. I haven't heard from him all day and that's a blessing. He goes back to work Wednesday, whether I hear from him or not, doesn't worry me. I spent most of today with my neighbor, she had a barbeque dinner. He moved out this morning. I'm taking things one day at a time. here's to a better life. Luv, Pip.

geoff · ‎30-11-2014

dear Pipsy, that's great, so his mind is now under control by mummy, oh well, hope he took his dummy with him. lol

Now I'm not sure whether this changes your application to centrelink, might be worth checking out. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎03-12-2014

Hi Geoff. Pipsy here. I went to my councilor yesterday and she reckons it's too soon to see Centrelink. I haven't heard from L or mummy/daddy, surprise, surprise. I know the site fees here have been paid (I'd have heard otherwise). There are problems here with the owner of the village wanting to raise the site fees. L knows this and has told the managers he will be here next Tuesday as there is a meeting to discuss this situation. Whether he and I will talk is anybody's guess. There has been no further talk about him seeing a councilor, hardly surprising. I am just taking it one day at a time. If we don't go back together, I will see Centrelink first thing next year. I'm not sure at this stage what I want, I just need time. I do know, I don't miss him, I'm just relieved he's gone. They can have him and good luck to all of them. Luv. P

geoff · ‎04-12-2014

dear Pipsy, maybe you can still go to centrelink and pick up the paper work, but keep it hidden from him.

It still won't stop you asking a couple of questions, but as soon as they have your name on record then you will be paid back to that day, for example if you go in today/tomorrow and centrelink take your name and then apply in Jan. then you will be paid back from today/tomorrow. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎04-12-2014

Hi, it's Pip. The way Centrelink works now. I can go and get the paperwork, but I only have 14 days to sign and get it back before I have to reapply. I also have to see my G.P to get him to sign a form saying I am unable to work due to depression. Because I am no longer taking anti-depressants (due to suicide attempt), my G.P (he's already told me), will not assist me. On the form it asks if I am taking any form of anti-depressants. My councilor will notify my G.P after 6 sessions to let him know what her assessment of me is. Centrelink will not record my application till I sign and return it. At the moment, I do not feel strong enough mentally to go through that. I will probably apply after Christmas, once L has let me know what's happening. He rang me today and said he will take care of me financially till he decides what he wants to do. Bye the way (giggle) he's not happy with mummy and daddy. It's not rosey as he thought it would be. They want to know what he's doing and where he's going. How long he will be with them is anybody's guess. He's not coming back here till he sees a councilor. I did tell him that. He wasn't happy and he hung up. I think he now realizes what I've been saying all along, that mummy and daddy still see him as their 'little boy', that's his problem. Luv, P.

geoff · ‎06-12-2014

dear Pipsy, well he maybe be able to see some rationale now, that mummy and daddy are controlling him, but it's taken all these years, but it still doesn't guarantee he will change. L Geoff. x

pipsy · ‎06-12-2014

Hi Geoff. You are probably right that L won't change. That's his problem. He chose to go the way he has, he has to live with the consequences. My father always said, you make your bed, you lie in it: if the mattress gets lumpy, that's your problem. L's sister wrote me the other day. She's staying right out of it, not taking sides at all. She did say mummy's using every trick in the book to get L's sympathy. He is a very weak person, by the time he stands up to her (if at all), it'll be too late for us. I have decided to go to Centrelink to start proceedings. I'm going in on Monday. My neighbor is going to the Dr's with me to tell him what's been going on. Hopefully with her help, my Dr may listen. I'm actually going out with her tonight. There's a Christmas party here at the hall. I'm not sure about buying L out - yet. I'll look into that next year for sure. Have a good weekend. Cheers P.