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Helping a friend

Justo1991
Community Member
Hi.
A friend of mine is not doing well and I can't seem to help. I'm fairly sure she has depression. She often talks about how she can't get over her ex, she doesn't know what career she wants, shes
not confident in herself.

Last two times I messaged her she said she isnt doing well and just wants to be left alone. I don't think this is good, I don't believe she would try anyth but I think she needs to talk to me or better yet, a professional.

I have mentioned a few times that I'm here for her and to call me anytime.

We both volunteer in the same emergency services unit. Should I wait till shes ready or suggest we catchup and have a chat?
3 Replies 3

Justo1991
Community Member
She finally contacted me and thanked me for looking out for her and asking how she is.
She said her dog died which has been painful.
I sympathized (as ive been through the same).
She said she feels better but not 100%. I suggested we catch up, which she wants to.

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Justo1991,

welcome to beyond blue.

You sound like a very caring and compassionate person - which is nice. Personally I could not see anything wrong with you approaching another person to catch up. Last year someone I know did just that to me. This person even told me about some of his related experiences.

Now if the other person refuses you have done your best? Sometime we (read me) are unable to ask for help, and if someone does offer we (read me) may accept.

Another person (last year) I would have a weekly coffee with. We still catch up on a regular basis but not that regular. Putting aside any friendship (which is good) it is also a way of allowing both persons to talk about whatever might be troubling them at that moment in time.

Tim

Hello Justo, and a warm welcome to the site.

It's good for you to be looking out for your friend and if you believe she is suffering from depression then please suggest she books an appointment with her doctor and what often happens to people with an MI, is that they do want to have their space but this doesn't mean they don't love you, they just need time to think or mourn about what's happened.

When they do decide to talk, then let them do the talking, because if you ask too many questions they will then close up, they need to get everything off their chest.

I really sympathise about losing her dog, that's a terrible experience to go through as I've had to do.

It would be great to know how she is coping and please look after yourself.

Best wishes.

Geoff.