Hello to all.
I may be the first to check in, but I'm not the first to care. But it relieves me that you say "beloved" to describe your father because I know so few people, young and old, who have loved their parents instead of hating them. So, I guess that's the first blessing you can count. Maybe the second that this place is here. Maybe the third is that my own difficulties brought me here in the past few days, that I could now be replying to you. And there are undoubtedly countless more.
Are you getting any support with your son at all? Hopefully someone else on this forum will have some advice based on their own experiences which will be helpful for you. In the meantime, take each day at a time, and look for the little things. I'm really bad at keeping to this, but making a daily list of things you're thankful for can be very helpful. Even if you don't do it regularly, it can help a little. It's certainly something I need to learn to do more often. And something else – smiling, just the act of it, can help you feel better. It can be hard when you don't feel like it, but it's worth the effort. It's just a few muscles in your cheeks, that only have to pull a little. And for feeling better and encouraged, I think it's really worth it. 🙂
Bad things happen, but hardship can build character if you choose. Not everyone chooses to do so. But if you can see hardship as a tool – a tool that life is trying to use to wear you down – then you can strengthen yourself, little by little. I would consider that you are much older than I, so I'd hope that you're even more familiar with how this works than I am. But I find that this principle is most clear in my music, where day after day I practice piano until it hurts. Once upon a time, I would struggle to play for an hour. Now, with the correct technique, I can play for four. It's not the best comparison – it's something I've chosen, but you may consider living life to be like practicing the piano. Keep trying, and it's gonna hurt. Sometimes more than any of us could ever imagine. And you know this. But you should also know that in the end, it gets you somewhere. I hope you do. And I hope this reminds you.
Wishing you all the best,
I'd like to join Squirrellesque in welcoming you here to the Forum. Life can be pretty unfair and you have had more than your share of hardship.
I'm sorry your father passed away, when a pillar in life goes there is not only the grief, but missing the everyday emotional support they provided just by being.
Just facing cancer is a huge thing and while you say you have it beaten the physical toll I suspect it would have taken together with worries over recurrences will leave you most unsettled and maybe diminished energy. Being sole support for your son adds an extra dimension to that worry.
With your son's disorder are there local organizations who can help. You probably have looked into this yourself, if not you could give our 24/7 Help Line a ring on 1300 22 4636 and ask what is in your area. sometimes getting together with others who face a similar problem can really help.
With your cheating ex leaving (does not sound much loss) is here anyone to help you at all? Another family member or friend?
I do hope you return and keep on talking, being alone is hard