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Heartbroken as my brother has been jailed

Community Member


My younger brother has been found guilty of charges of violence even though he is innocent and there is no evidence or witnesses. They say it is historical and her word against his. He is gentle and vulnerable and now suicidal. My family have never experienced this situation before. We are all older professionals and completely law abiding. 

I'm trying to navigate the whole prison system and he is in another state so I can't visit. Although I am a very strong person this has caused me extraordinary distress. I can't stop thinking and worrying about him and I've had to take time off work. We lost our beautiful Mum last year and he was still grieving her when this happened. It is like a nightmare that one cannot wake up from. I would love to hear from anyone with advice about how to deal with all this or anyone in a similar situation. I feel so alone. Thank you so much.

13 Replies 13

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Big Sis,


Wellcome to our forums.


Im sorry this has happened I understand it can feel very distressing.


I understand that while your brother is in prison he may be able to call you if you agree to accepting his phone calls.


Im sorry for the loss of your beautiful Mum also.


Did your brother have a lawyer representing him?


Community Member

Hi Petal22, 

Thank you for your kind reply. I have been able to talk to him once 2 days ago but haven't heard today and it was only yesterday he was found guilty. We have a Barrister and lawyer and have spent a lot on defending him ( not that the money matters) they are shocked at the outcome too.



Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Big Sis, I am so very sorry about the loss of your dear mum and when this happens on top of other issues, you're not sure what you should do.

Can you engage a lawyer in your State who may know of someone in the other State who can look at your brother's case and then decide how they can approach this situation.

Remember there are also legal firms that have offices in all States you could also approach, who can appeal on something that wasn't mentioned in his trial, especially if you know of a barrister/lawyer who can pursue his case.

This is not the only issue that needs addressing and suggest that you see your doctor who can refer you to a psychologist, because it's not now that you need help, but also the future.


Life Member.

That's ok Big Sis,


Sometimes when someone is sentenced they go to a holding jail first before they are distributed out to other prisons depending on their security level.


Some prisoners may go to low security jails like prison farms.


If your brother is in jail it may take a small amount of time for him to be able to set up his contacts in regards to who he wants to call.


Sometimes when it's the first call someone from the jail will check with the person receiving the call if it's ok for the person in jail to contact them.


Can your brothers case be appealed? 


I hope you hear from your brother soon.

Community Member

Hi Big_Sis,


Welcome to the forums and thank you for posting. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and mother.


I can't offer much practical help as I do not have any legal knowledge. When I used to work in the mental health sector though, we did a lot of work with Legal Aid who were all very nice and hard working people so they may be a resource you'd like to consider. 


Also, do you have a psychologist or mental health worker? They are particularly good with addressing grief and feelings of isolation. Losing your brother to the prison system is a huge change and with change usually comes grief. I am currently working with my psychologist to unpack some grieving regarding my mother and its helped a lot. I'm able to talk to someone without pretending or trying to put on a brave face. I also hope by posting here that you don't feel so alone. 💙


Also remember, if you ever need someone to talk to that the beyond blue phone service and online chat are available 24/7. You can find them by clicking immediate support in the top right hand corner. 



Community Member

Thank you for your words of advice and support Bob. It does make difference.

Community Member

Thank you Geoff. I have seen my Dr and will now be speaking with a Psychologist. He was sentenced today to jail for a minimum of 21 months. We are looking at appealing. The whole thing is surreal and has destroyed my faith in the Australian justice system. 

Thank you again,

Community Member

Thank you Petal22. Words of support are comforting.

Community Member

Hey sweetheart, we are going through the same thing.

I found out my son is in jail this week and has been for 7 weeks, in a different state. So i know Exactly how you feel. 

The first step for me was coming here, the second was just to take in what I could deal with.

I feel like ive been crying all week worrying about every detail of what his day must be like. I sent him a letter with my contact details and told him i love him to the moon and back & another with money on Friday.


With a strong family network & legal representation they will both be equipped with the best that we can do for now.

My heart feels your pain 

Sending strength & hugs 💗🤗💗