Head vs Heart
So i am 36 weeks pregnant and am feeling very emtoional these days, thoughts will come into my mind at random and can often make me want to break down and cry, even if i know that they are far from the truth. Lately my thoughts have been telling me that my partner doesnt find me attractive or want me anymore because ive gotten so huge and fat lately. Since ive been pregant we barely have sex or are intimate anymore, he tells me its because he is tired from work (which i know he really is) but i cant help thinking that there is another reason behind it. Today he went out to see an old female friend that i never met, i told him that i was completley okay with it and that i trusted him (which i do with all my heart) he came home very happy and more relaxed than i have seen him in a long time and had brought me home an expensive gift as well, telling me that he loved me so much and how he had so much fun catching up with his friends. Now deep down in my heart i knew he was speaking the truth and that there is nothing going on there at all but now i lay in bed overthinking everything and from my past relationship experience, all i can keep thinking is that he has to be cheating on me or something (my ex actually would play mind games anfnemotionally manipulate me). Like the gift was because he was guilty and that he doesnt want to have sex with me because he is getting it somewhere else... idk if any of this makes sense but these random thoughts that keep popping into my head on a daily base are starting to affect me and i dont know what to do. I feel like i cant talk to my partner because he will just think im being psycho and call me crazy like my ex did. I feel like this is all driving me insane 😞
I'm really sorry to hear about how you're feeling, and about your previous relationship issue where your ex had said and done terrible things to you as well. I also want to assure you that it is okay to be anxious about things and events. The human mind is very complex, and our thoughts can sometimes overwhelm us with negative thoughts. But there are strategies that can help us overcome our anxious thoughts, and to share one of my own, when my mind is flooded with thoughts, I told myself to hit the brakes and start going through each thought in my mind looking at them in a positive way, and trust myself that everything will be okay. There is a thread on the "Anxiety" Forums called "SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY", which contains a lot of useful information and strategy to cope with Anxiety. Maybe you could have a look at that thread to see if that may help you calm your thoughts.
If you feel the need for additional help, there is no shame for reaching out for further assistance with professional services. You could try calling the Beyond Blue Service line on 1300 22 4636 (Open 24 hours / 7 Days a week), and talk them through about how you're feeling, and they will be able to point you towards the right direction. You'll be alright Taannyyaa.xx, we're always here to listen to you.