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He works a lot and I’m constantly lonely.

Community Member

Hello all,

My partner and I live together but don’t actually do much together. He works all weekend, and a few week split shifts. So we’ll get about 3 and a half days together through the week. When we are together we’ll just hang around the house because he’s so tired and that’s completely understandable!! But it’s very hard 😞

Here are my troubles..

1. by doing things through the week we miss out on any chance to do family get togethers, friends party’s, any socialising basically.

2. I also don’t work because I have deep depression and anxiety, so even going to family things alone, I can’t do unless I’m just with my parents, as I’m an only child.

I find it very hard to talk about myself, and I also have weight problems that affect my mental health.

3. He works so hard to keep a roof over our heads and I pay for bills and food. I am so thankful for all he does and I try to remind him of that each day. Unfortunately it means I’m left to do a lot around the house but I’m always tired and achy, due to my health. I try to do some things but it’s a real struggle.

4. We struggle with money, and it’s very stressful, we are looking to move somewhere cheaper, but power rates keep getting higher and bills are becoming more expensive.

5. Last but not least, I am SO lonely. I’m almost isolated from life, I don’t really have friends, and I never get invited to things. I can’t remember the last time someone asked if I wanted to do ex:cinema/food.. anything with them. The longer I don’t socialise, the more alien I feel, and I get awkward in social interactions.. it’s horrible, because I used to be so bubbly!

I’m starting to resent my life and it’s becoming unbearable. if anyone has any advice on any of my problems, please help!

Thank you in advance 🙂 and bless you!

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi Hanmnro,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us… it sounds like you’re feeling pretty alone and alienated right now so I’m glad that you’ve reached out to connect online 🙂 You mentioned that you find it very hard to talk about yourself, so I just thought to start off by mentioning that I personally feel like you did a really good job articulating the troubles you’ve been going through. It sounds like you’ve got a lot of awareness into what might be causing you to feel so lonely and isolated - this is a great start.

It sounds like you really value and appreciate the relationship you have with your partner despite the challenges you are going through at the moment. You come across like a very understanding and grateful person.

You mentioned that you hang around the house together when you do get some time together… When he does have time off, what would your ideal situation look like? Would you like to go out?

It must be challenging feeling awkward in social interactions when you feel you used to be such a bubbly person – there’s nothing to say you can’t slowly work towards that again though 🙂 I’m not sure about the limits placed on you by your health problems, but would you consider reaching out to an old friend? What are your parents like? Do you get to see them often?

I hear you saying that life is becoming unbearable at the moment – it sounds like you’re really struggling. Do you mind me asking whether you’ve ever seen a psychologist for the anxiety and depression you’ve been experiencing?

I hope you get the chance to do something nice for yourself today – even if it is from the comfort of your own home 🙂 Looking forward to hearing back from you...