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Having severe relationship problems with my mum :(

Community Member
The other day, my mum & I got into a disaggrement becasue I feel like she always plays devils advoacate or make opinions about things shes doesnt understand or know the details of. So she hung up on me but continued to send me msgers till I told her to stop, but she didnt, so i had to block her. It seems since I last messaged my Mum telling her to stop messenging me the other day, she has NOW, YET AGAIN, unfriended me from Facebook.... OMFG I am so tired of her petty games like this. I tried to call her to try to talk to her & even apologise for some of the things I said in the heat of the moment, but of course shes ignoring me & I will b e very suprised if she contacts me at all .I feel like its all so childish & kinda manipulative for her to behave like this yet again....In the past, Ive HAD to stop talking to her for y own sanity, even up to 6 months at a time because she can behave so toxic & childish, like now.....It feels like a bit of a relief, but I hate being deliberately ignored when I want to try & make ammends & talk this through. I do realise that its the 1st year anniversary of the death of my brother in December, but I feel she really needs to resume her grief counselling that stopped because of Covid, because obviously she snt coping well. We are all grappling with his passing...but Im doing EVERYTHING in my power, to try to help myself & our relationship. But is it even possible?? I have been taking meds for more than decade, Ive been having therapy for many, many years, & even this year started DBT to help myself & the relationships I have with others, but it just doesnt seem enough for my mother....I just dont know how to communicate with her or even relate to her anymore....Im so lost with this !!
1 Reply 1

Community Member
Hi Lochness46. Sorry to hear that your having problems with your mother. Provocation is something we all have to learn how to deal with and not having expectations from people we know we will never get. This is so hard you want your mother to be the mother you want and need but not everyone gets that kind of Mother Goose. Try to let things just roll off your back don’t take it so personally when you don’t receive the validation you need. Give this to yourself give yourself permission to feel good. Try not to get into it with your mother if you know how it’s going to end. This is a continuing pattern with your mother I’m sure she will talk to you again try not to worry. Allow her to think how she wants it’s up to her to realise you can’t force someone to see. Lonelydan.....