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Frustrated wife of child support payer

Community Member
I am new to this forum and seeking inputs regarding child support. My husband had a kid with a woman who agreed to have a friend with benefits relationship, lets call her FB. He met this woman online in 2009, she insisted on visiting him and accidentally got pregnant in 2010, my husband doesnt want the child so he suggested abortion, she insisted on raising the kid on her own and my husband's family pushed him to sign the kids birth cert. In 2012, they applied for a defacto visa though theyre not in a relationship. Btw, my relationship with him started in 2011. This has been a very tough time for me. So in 2013, they declared to the immigration that the relationship has broken down and FB automatically got her PR. My husband started paying child support and its really unfair because FB is not working and just relying on the child support and other government benefits. She's also using the child support payments to buy jewelries for herself and to send money to her family in the Philippines

Recently, my husband filed his tax and the child support increased to AUD526 per fortnight. This child support is for a 4 year old boy. My husband and I also has a 2 year old boy. The problem now is that CSA does not approve of my husband's change of assessment for the reason that I am also his dependent. I recently applied for a Partner Visa and been taking care of our 2 year old boy so I dont have the chance to continue my studies or gain employment. It's really unfair because I do all the hard work and budgeting my husband's salary and FB is just sitting there, living comfortably and just waiting for the child support. She also stopped communicating with my husband and his family the moment she received her PR and her first child support payment. She doesnt even invite my husband to celEbrate the kids birthday. She basically removed my husband's responsibility as a father. Now I am frustrated because all of this child support crap is affecting our future plans such as buying our house. We are also considering taking the boy during weekends to minimize the costs of child support but we do not have FB's contact details as she totally gone incognito. What should we do about all this mess! 


PS: She used my husband's family and relatives against him to obtain all of this. She befriended them then back stabbed all of them the moment she got her Permanent residency. And I cant deal with it longer as I am the woman who plans her whole future and all this is ruining it. 
4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi LegalSpouse.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but the way I'm reading your post is, your husband signed the child's birth cert admitting paternity.  He's legally responsible till the child reaches legal age (whatever that is).  You can't change that fact.  Are you 100% sure FB is sending money to the Philippines?  I understood (again - correct me if I'm wrong), but, I understood when custodial parent is receiving child support, they had to declare when circumstances change in any way as in all recipients of pension payments.  If you can prove 100% she's sending money to Philippines, I would contact CSA or maybe police and inform them of that.  Unfortunately, because your husband admitted paternity i.e signed birth cert, there's not much you can do.  To obtain weekend visitation, I would see a lawyer who deals with family law and get some advice.  Not sure what you mean about CSA does not approve of your husband's change of assessment because you are another dependant.  If you have a 2 year old son together, you both are his dependants.  I would definitely see a lawyer and get it sorted. 

Best of luck with that.

Hi Pipsy, thank you for your reply. Yes you're right, he signed the birth certificate but only because his parents asked him to do so. And it's quite complicated in their family because the parents wanted him to like do the right thing, sign this, give the child a name etc. without acknowledging the fact that this woman had been blackmailing my husband and threatening him using the child. (Although it stopped after the woman got here in AU) And yes, I am also 100% sure that she is sending parts of the child support to her relatives in the Philippines. I didnt know we could tell CSA that coz one of my husband's cousin is a lawyer and she said there's not much we can do when it comes to how the ex will spend or use the child support money. But we will definitely try and talk to CSA about that.


My husband called CSA yesterday and asked them if he could file a change of assessment in the grounds of having me as another dependant. We dont know if they are taking me and our son into account because my husband and the ex' self support amount is the same amount but the ex' only dependant is the 4 yr old boy but my husband has me and our son as his dependants which will make his self support amount/expenses bigger. And CSA told him that they dont accept spouses as your dependant.


Thanks again for the reply. Hope everything will be ok soon. And will definitely do your advice.

Going through similar struggles myself. My husband was only 17 when a girl he and his mates had been with at a party fell pregnant. My husband's name is not on the birth certificate and he wasn't present at the birth etc. He was told by child support that he had to prove he wasn't the father she doesn't have to prove he is. Me and my children he is supporting are not classed as his dependants. He is supposed to be paying $3000 a year in the last three years they have taken every tax return  and deducted huge amounts from his pay. On the paperwork from child support it says she has $0 income on which she supports her three other kids from 3 other guys.(but we give her money)  We have paid over $8000 a year to child support over the last few years but they keep saying he hasn't paid enough. How I don't know when we have paid at least $5000 more a year. Because of this our marriage almost ended and we are currently homeless and on the verge of bankruptcy. I know this doesn't help u but letting u know the child support agency isn't much help for anyone. 

(My daughter is same age as my husband's and I get almost nothing from child support and my ex earns in excess of $100K) 

Community Member

Hi Mstazzy81.  What I would suggest you do (if possible).  See your Dr, ask about doing a paternity test.  CSA (you're right) don't care who pays child support, all they care about is the fact that it's being paid.  It sounds as though it could've been anyone responsible for the pregnancy.  What I don't understand is, if no-one is listed as 'father', how come your spouse 'got lucky'?  I understood that mum had to put dad's name on certificate if she wanted child support.  I would definitely query why YOUR spouse, see if you can obtain paternity test.  If your hubby is 'in the clear', he can object to paying anymore and possibly get compensation.  You could get a lawyer through legal aid.  I would definitely get some help a.s.a.p.  If he IS responsible, see about getting access.  If he's not, try and stop her getting anymore.