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Friends excluding me because of disability???

Community Member

I've been having a lot of troubles with my friends lately. They've been excluding me from things and ignoring me. My best friend has bpd and is using it as an excuse as why he's treating me bad (he's splitting on me so it's ok apparently), and now he's not inviting me to stuff when he invites all of our other friends. I'm physically disabled and I'm in a wheelchair like 90% of the time and this has never been a problem for my friends before but now they're constantly telling me they didn't invite me because of my disability, they even tried to tell me to stay home and not go to my birthday thing I organised because of it (they would still get to go apparently tho).

I also have bpd and things like this really stress me out, especially because I'm in a situation where I'm stuck at home in bed most of the time and I'm not in a situation where I can make new friends.

idk I just don't know if I'm overreacting about all this and whether it's ok for them to exclude me because of my wheelchair because I am a lot slower moving than them in it. I know they have the right to not interact with me if they don't want to but I'd prefer if they just told me to leave them alone instead of ignoring me and telling me it's my fault.

2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Gothmoth, I find their behaviour to be totally disrespectful and either way, whether they ignore you or tell you it's your fault is not right and itis very offensive or them to put you in a situation like this.
It's amazing how you are able to find out who your friends are, these people are certainly no friends of yours, and to spit on you where you can not retaliate, is unforgivable, and I'm really sorry that all of this has happened.
Do not try and associate with these people again, and I wonder whether you have a carer who looks after you, or whether you are seeking any help from a psychologist. Geoff.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Gothmoth~

Like Geoff I want to welcome you here and agree with him that your so called friends are not treating you well.

Being stuck in bed most of the time and only being able to get around in a wheelchair most other times is an enormous barrier to normal life. The expense of a taxi alone (yes I'm aware there is the Transport Scheme discount) makes a trivial outing an expensive expedition.

If you don't mind my asking can you propel yourself?

Now it sounds like your ex-best friend seems to be the root cause of this current set of hassles. Perhaps taken singly and out of the herd individual acquaintances might behave differently. The half baked excuses they have made for not inviting you are plain silly and if there are any halfway decent people in the group they may well be feeling guilty.

Living as you do it is hard to maintain perspective and judge what is reasonable. If there was an event with loose sand on a beach, or multiple steps then it might be prudent to not invite you, that being said true friends will try to organize things so there is no loose sand or steps.

In any event it is hard to see how any of this is your fault. Life has handed you a hard row to hoe and people with heart should be going out of their way to make life smoother.

I've mobility issues and do associate with persons in wheelchairs. I might mention a couple of things , firstly on-line activity is a great leveler, and one can appear and take part exactly the same as anyone else. (An over-bed table with keyboard can be a big help). This applies to both social and study activities. Being in an organization and an advocate for particular disabilities too often results in a surprising amount of travel and functions (paid for by and large:)

I do hope you manage to get some of this resolved and salvage some sort of social contact out of this horrible situation. Please know you can talk here as often as you would like and be met with understanding