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Feeling very confused by boyfriends behaviour

Community Member
In the last couple of months i have started to feel like i dont want to be with my bf of 41/2 yrs anymore due to his behaviours. I feel constantly under scrutiny and like i cant do anything right, he gets angry at the smallest of things and then wont talk to me for days cos he is angry and ignores my attempts to talk to him during this time, he doesnt seem to appreciate the effort i put into the relationship or when i do something new he says things like "what took you so long to do that", he often cuts me off when im trying to talk and shuts me down saying things like "if you dont shut up you know where the door is" and im not yelling or being crazy just trying to talk about something weve had an argument over, he gets angry if i take a long time to get back to him if i miss a call or text but meanwhile he only answers me when he wants to, and i also feel like he is not interested in what i do on a daily basis showing little interest or asking me what ive been doing all day with a smart tone. I have depression and anxiety and most of my days are filled with just trying to get by and constantly fighting my negative thoughts. Im exhausted and dont need to be treated like a second class person. I just dont know what to do can someone give me some guidance??
3 Replies 3

Community Champion
Community Champion

Anne ,

Thanks for starting this thread.

I understand how confusing your boyfriends behaviour would be for you when you are trying to cope wioth anxiety and depression and negative thoughts.

Some people do not like to talk things through and they find talking things over to be annoying.

My partner finds it tiring when he thinks we have finished a topic and I am still talking about it.

You feel your boyfriend does not appreciate you and cuts you off when he does not want to listen.

I wonder has he behaved as you describe for most of your relationship or have these behaviours appeared just recently?

It is important you look after yourself . Is it possible to find a time when your boyfriend is relaxed and will listen to you so you can tell him how you are feeling?

Do you still have feelings for him?

Thanks for writing your post. I am sure there will be others reading your post who can relate to what you are experiencing.


Hi quirky,

thank you for your input. My bf has been this way for most of our relationship and we have talked about these issues on many occasions. after talking we get along great for a while but then things go back to how they are now. things did seem to be improving between us for a while but its very up and down. i do still love him but im finding myself wanting to spend less time with him and feeling anxious when we are together. i dont want our relationship to end and i do still love him but im feeling very worn out from all the ups and downs


Community Member
Maybe you need to take a step back from the relationship? If you are dealing with anxiety and depression and his behaviour is driving a wedge between you, taking some time out might be the answer. Just some space so you can take care of yourself and what you want to do. Sounds like he needs to do some soul searching during this time too.