My first post so see how I go. I don't know who I am any more. I've been married for 11 years and have put everything into my marriage and kids. Over the last few years I have found things out about my husband, which makes me realize he is not entirely show I thought he was. I'm not sure how much I trust him as much as I use to. I find myself obsessing over what he is doing all the time and can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything else. I feel like I am constantly worrying about everything. I have trouble sleeping, make myself sick by worrying about things that haven't even happened. I can't remember what I like to do for myself anymore. I'm not the same person I use to be. I use to be happy I use to have fun but can't seem to get out of this rut I'm in. How do I figure out who I am? I don't want to constantly worry about everything. I want to enjoy my life. I want to be happy.
Thanks for listening...
What seems to be going on is that anxiety has started to take over your life, it's controlling you, and may have begun from what you have just found out.
Your obsession about his trust is very important here and unless it's settled then it will only get worse, creating many other problems, ones which you may not have experienced before, and that's what we don't want to happen.
The only way to find out is to ask him, and as you're been married for 11 years you should know by his reaction whether he's telling you the truth or not, maybe he might blush or not look at you, or blink his eyes out of fear, or start an argument.
No matter what the outcome is I would like you to visit your doctor where they may suggest you to take medication and then refer you to a psychologist using the mental health plan, where you are entitled to 10 free visits.
Try and get the help you need and you need to speak to your husband, there will never be a good time, so any time is the best time. Geoff.