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Fed Up Dad - I need a win to see my son - Help - Any Family Law Hearing Tips badly needed

Community Member

Hey everyone. I feel like I've exhausted all my family and friends with my ongoing issues with my 9 year old son's mother so I thought I'd come here for independent advice or help based on your experience. Mainly to give them a break and for me to gain some fresh perspective.

I haven't seen my son in 6 weeks. Why? Because his mother just decided to cease our care arrangement of 6 years, a 60/40 arrangement. She has just completely blocked all my numbers and refuses to answer to anyone about this. I quickly learned with no court orders she is not required in any shape or form to change this situation. I'm not going to do anything stupid and go around there. So I just sit here powerless.

She refused mediation so I've engaged a lawyer and we did have a court hearing early September. But being in VIC and legal services being shut down as of today for 6 weeks, I assume it could be November before I now get my day in court and subsequently have any contact with him. 3-4 months for a 9 year old with no contact with his Dad amounts to child abuse in my eyes.

I'm very concerned for his well being as his mother does not let him do any home schooling whatsoever and the education department are powerless to do anything... he's pretty much done nothing this year and lost a whole year of primary school. I now have evidence she is a long time meth user. She doesn't work and she hasn't paid rent in over a year... I know this because I'm the landlord! She is a pathological liar, to me, to him, to his school, to the education department. She has psychological issues and a drug problem but I have no avenues that I'm aware of to reach out to him. The DHHS even looked into it and palmed it off to Family First (orange door). She'll just ignore them too.

The stress and depression it has caused me and continues to cause me concerns me and that's why I've come here. Maybe someone can suggest an alternative option that I'm not aware of. I've never gone more than a week without seeing my son since he was born and I'm staring down the barrel of 4-5 months... and the worst bit is I don't know what lie she is telling him as to why he can't see me or even call me! Thanks for listening.

4 Replies 4

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello FedUpDad2020,

Oh boy, I don't know what to say here but I'm really sad to hear about the situation with your son and his mother.

I don't really have any practical advice which it sounds like is what you are looking for right now, but I did want to message back to let you know that I am here if you wanted to talk further. It certainly sounds like you are struggling a lot without seeing your son, and I imagine he also misses you a lot.

November is a long time away, so I hope you are able to find a faster alternative. Do keep us updated when you are able.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi FedupDad2020 I feel your pain not being able to see your son.I went through a period where my ex would not let me see my children.I hired a lawyer who managed to adventurally get me access to my kids.First I had to see them under supervised visits for a few weeks.That was the only way she would let me see them.Then I got unsupervised visits for a day and then I got them for every second weekend.Now I have 50/50 custody and they spend about 50% of their time with me now.I have a court order in place and was really happy with my lawyer and outcome and having a court order in place.It makes it tough for you with all the restrictions in place and you not knowing when you can see your son.Hopefully your lawyer can get you access to your son soon.

Thanks.. did your ex have a lawyer? I believe mine may struggle to get legal aid and with her having no money for a lawyer it can make it even worse for me as I think it drags the whole process out longer 😞

Hi,My ex did have a lawyer which seemed to drag the process on.It was a whole day in mediation to get access to my kids when it shouldn't have taken that long.I found out later it was her lawyer that was dragging it out.Yes the lawyers are very expensive.