Family relocated to QLD. Now wife wants to move back and I don't. :(

[wallabyjack]

We have kids and we moved up from Sydney a year ago. She hates it here and has to work from home for her Sydney based job.

The kids are in school here but she wants to go back to Sydney as she has friends there.  We have no family in Sydney. We do here. 

We also will struggle to get our kids into private schools in Sydney. We wont in Brisbane. (cost and availability) 

Finally I calculated that the cost of living in Sydney puts us out pocket at least $20,000 a year, plus it will cost us about $1Million dollars extra for a house in Sydney! (yes really) 

So my question is, if she insists, do I have a leg to stand on legally? 

[geoff]

Hello wallabyjack, can I ask who made the decision to move to Qld, was it a joint or one of you thought it would be a good idea with family being there.

If the decision is not mutual, then one person is going to be unhappy, at the moment you want to live in Qld, while your wife doesn't like it and wants to move to Sydney.

So in essence, what's going to happen is the reverse to what it currently is, so one way or another only one person is going to be happy.

You can make any decision you like but to keep relocating your kids isn't going to be much good for them.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[wallabyjack]

It was a joint decision and I was keener as I have family here. 

[Fiatlux]

Hi wallabyjack,

A year ago it was very tempting for many to up and move North.

Must admit I was considering it in 2020 before border closures etc.

Legally, you will need to seek legal advice elsewhere.

Maybe, your wife needs to give it a little more time. Ask, what is there to hate about your location. Her friends are not a real reason to up and move again on a whim. Like you have pointed out, it’s very costly to move and disruptive to your children.

Has your wife made friends or have any hobbies where she could meet new people.

Good luck and really Queensland has the best everything your family needs.

[ecomama]

"So my question is, if she insists, do I have a leg to stand on legally?"
Simple answer, no. 
Your wife is entitled to live wherever she wants to live. 

Moving forward ie into Family Law (separation and divorce) the rules are similar but some differences between Qld and NSW. 
Your wife is still allowed to move and live wherever she wants to live. 

Would you really want to trap your wife in Qld? 
That's how your last question comes across. 

The most stressful time I ever had was going through YEARS of Courts in Family Law. 
Weigh it up carefully! 

You may want to work on your marriage and offer more for your wife to be happy - just a thought. 

$1 million for a house in Sydney? What, a shack? We're way out of Sydney in a pretty standard home and it's worth a lot more than that. 

Have you considered marriage Counselling or are you on your way out of the marriage?  

Thoughts for you to consider. 

When it comes to Family Law, you'll lose a lot more than your wife and her income. 

[tranzcrybe]

A year is quite a short time to evaluate and resettle - have you found the actual source of the discontent? Yes, missing friends is valid, but I can't help feel that is just the tip of the iceberg...

• How are relationships with family who are now more accessible?
  I know relatives can be great, but also quite demanding of your personal time - especially in the beginning with wanting to catch up and get involved.
• Is working from home making her feel isolated or somehow 'out of the loop'?
  Possibly a change of job could see her interacting with 'real people' and give her some life outside of work and immediate family.
• How has your lifestyle together changed in this new setting by comparison to Sydney?
  The fast pace of Sydney can really sweep you up making work/life there part of your psyche. Brisbane is a wonderful city but might feel like a retrograde step in comparison (Do people still go to work in short pants?? It always feels so casual to me whenever I am up there). It can be a shock for some.

Perhaps the 'terms' of your moving to Brisbane needed a little more thought prior - what if... (easy in hindsight, huh?), but now your justifications for remaining should be reassessed and, as EM ponted out, at what cost if it all comes down to your marriage? (BTW EM, 1 mill extra... :)).

There will be a solution if discussions are kept malleable and fluid - it's no contest when it comes to family happiness and that should be the only criteria as seeking 'legal' grounds sounds like a perilous path. Once amicably resolved, then you can get down to the brass tacks of the hows and wherefores.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I moved around when in the Airforce as a teenager. I soon realised that interstate wasnt "home" and nbever will be. Melbourne or rather Victoria, was home as much as I hated the city so regional Victoria was ideal, I felt safe and familiar.

It's not unusual for people to feel alienated in a new state. Home for your wife is Sydney. A suggestion could be 1-2 hours away from Sydney the city to relocate where a compromise could be found regarding finances, friends could still visit etc.

Somehow I feel however, that you do not want to return to Sydney. This has placed you with a dilemma, family for you in Queensland and so on. Here is my thoughts-

I dont think you are placing your wife as your priority, her happiness and respecting her need to return

I think you are looking for reasons not to return

However I do understand your feelings especially having family where you are. There's always two sides.

I think due to the above I'd seek counseling.

TonyWK