Family Breakdown

[Name098]

Recently I had a sort of mental breakdown. My parents will be seperating officially near the end of the year and me and my siblings will be moving out with my mum. My parents have both been seperated long before this, and have a really toxic and unhealthy relationship. In honesty I already knew this would happen for a long time. Despite all this, I have always imagined that we would always be together.

Two months ago, I started to think about my future and I thought about a lot of things, from my future job, house etc., and also my future with my parents. This stressed me to the point of stomachaches and a few sleepless nights. Still I figured a 'plan' for my future and shared it. What I didn't expect during this was that I suddenly became incredibly emotional, and at the core of that was the future with my family. This caused my emotional breakdown.

Despite knowing the nature of my parent's relationship, and the fact that they would eventually separate, I was overwhelmed with such emotion that I cried for a week and a half straight, and still now occasionally cry about it. I have never felt so helpless with my emotions and after crying to my mum about it two or three times, I was taken to my GP and scheduled a talk with a psychologist. While having someone to talk to, other than my mum, helped clear out a bit of what I felt, I still feel lost.

At this point, once I see my entire family together the tears start falling. To be going through a family breakup me feeling sad is normal and that only time will heal. But, I have not been the only person to have gone through a hard time, specifically because I suddenly caused my own breakdown.

I am quite introverted and don't have a lot of friends, additionally because this situation is so close to my heart, I am not willing to share it with others, hence, my mum has become the person I have turned to when I feel these emotions. However, I have cried to her so many times about this that she herself has been affected and has told me she doesn't know what to do and can't trust me anymore because each time I cry, I also apologise to her and say its not her fault, only to end up crying again a few days later. I really don't blame her and I know the separation will be good for everyone. Right now, however, I'm not sure how to mend my relationship with my mum, as she doesn't want to hear me out. I also have no idea how I should move forward with my life without constantly thinking about the worst and always crying.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Name098

 Welcome to the forums and thank you for being a member of this open, kind and helpful community. Dealing with family breakdown can be one of the most challenging experiences; the devastation and loss of what was and what could or should have been can feel overwhelming, particularly when you are trying to carve out a future that you never thought would be.  It’s important to be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time and space to grieve for this in way that you are needing right now.

  We know that it can be incredibly difficult to share our story, so we want to say thank you for showing such courage in posting and sharing that experience - you never know who will read this post and feel less alone on their own journey as also for you too.  

We are here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our webchat. Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it. You might also find the following organization helpful in terms of your relationship concerns.  

Griefline Click Here

Relationships Australia Click Here

If you would welcome other perspective, there is also 1800 RESPECT Click Here

Thank you again for joining us here and for starting this conversation. Please feel free to come back and update us on how you are feeling, if you are comfortable.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M