Hi Josiah
My heart goes out to you as you struggle to cope with the many challenges your ex is throwing your way.
Sounds like she has failed to meet a lot of challenges along the way:
- The challenge to be honest with you at the 2 month mark
- The challenge to be more thoughtful in how she chooses to end the relationship
- The challenge to be considerate while you're still living there
I'm sure the list goes on.
You know how people are known to say 'It's not you, it's me' when they're ending a relationship; it does sound like it is her who has some issues. I'm not saying you're perfect but I am saying that it has been up to her to help manage the relationship and the current living circumstances, through clarity, open communication and honesty and she's failed to help.
Not sure this will help matters but you have every right to question her behaviour, especially if her behaviour is highly questionable. If she is rude, question her rudeness. If she is inconsiderate, question her lack of consideration. If she is abusive, question her abuse. Do not question yourself so much, especially if you're being considerate and thoughtful. Do not enable her choice to not rise to the challenges now. Such a choice is irresponsible on her part. She should be taking responsibility for her behaviour. This situation requires careful management yet it is being managed without care by the sound of it.
Walking out of there with a sense of pride (based on the fact you have rightfully come to question much) is definitely a goal worth considering. Don't leave questioning yourself to the point where it brings you down. If someone has put us down and/or brought us down in a number of ways it can leave us down until we rise to a new way of seeing things, a new perspective. No one has the right to bring us down and keep us there.
Take care and all the best for the future
