Expectations in a soul mate
We often hear it "he is my soul mate". Have you ever wanted a soul mate? What is a soul mate.? Do you need one?
A soul mate from my research is a person that connects with you on all levels from trust to understanding to commitment...ultimate commitment. Can you have a soul mate that shares the same values as you? including having affairs eg both of you having an open relationship sexually but still having each other as soul mates? Well yes! it all depends on both of you.
So sharing standards, values, interests etc - it doesn't matter how its done, as long as you both comply. In the example above both persons could have affairs or be actively involved in a swingers group but share intimate thoughts and commitment with each other and be- soul mates.
I'd suggest however that that is not the norm. A soul mate in the traditional sense is a monogamous relationship as well as all the other things they share- full compatibility. Is this realistic? What percentage of people that say "we are soul mates" are that compatible? I'd suggest very few, if they searched, they would find differences however, their closeness is enough for them both to feel they are indeed soulmates as far as they are concerned....and that is all that matters.
How do you find a soulmate? Well without tools to help you it is pure luck. Every date you go out with has a remote chance of that future connection and what is worse is that it is often months later that you find out your differences are too far apart for you ever to - make it.
You need to narrow down the chances of meeting someone that has some chance of such success. The only way is dating apps or websites whereby you list your interests, strong points, profession, inspirations, parental status and dreams. I know it works as my daughter married a guy this way...a seemingly perfect match. Both in the teaching profession, humour, age similar and family aspirations.
With the now common decision of waiting until late 30's to have children time is of the essence. Waiting for your luck to come along is not a wise move.
Narrow down your chances of meeting your soul mate which will mean you are in love, have acceptable differences, accept each other, aspire for similar goals and life is bliss. But a soulmate can also include the humps and bumps as long as they don't dominate the relationship.
A realistic level of contentment with a partner that you both blend into as one.