Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

ex moving on so soon

Community Member


over the past couple of years, life seems to be constantly throwing blows at me....my dad died suddenly and i didn't get to see him to say goodbye due to it being my now ex's mothers surprise birthday party which he said he had to attend, rather than supporting me in my difficult time. My family fighting over my dad's will....My closest brother who always was there for me, was diagnosed with terminal cancer 6 months later...we nursed him and he passed 5 months after diagnosis....2 weeks after his diagnosis, my then ex's father passed suddenly....and 6 months ago, my relationship of 12 years broke down....and smaller hits keep coming until the point where now, I have no strength to get back up but I know I have to for my kids....today my ex, who moved in elsewhere next door to a girl who he has been continually spending more and more time with, and who most assumed he was with, confirmed that they have recently got together. Now I don't want him back but for me, the thought of moving on is far too early....even his family have told him that it is too soon but he is true narcissist without any care or conscious for anyone else....I can't fight anymore...I am so sad and tired and just want this pain to end....thank you for listening

2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi maxbel,

Welcome to the forums, here's a great big hug.

It sounds like you have waaay too much on your plate at the moment for one person to handle, so all your thoughts make sense to me.

The best piece of advice I can offer is to see a doctor if you haven't gone already. Your GP is a good place to start, but you need to have someone with you to help you bear all this.

It sounds like the hardest thing for you at the moment is that those closest to you are out of reach. And even your ex, who you'd normally depend on for this thing, has just picked up and left.

That's really really tough. Do you have any close friends who you'd feel comfortable talking to?

With so much on your plate, I think it's better to tackle things one at a time. Do you mind sharing what is troubling you most at this stage? It sounds like you're very angry with your ex, but confused at the same time. Did you want to share those frustrations with us?

I hope you can feel comfortable talking to us here. There are lots of really great friendly people and we'd love to keep chatting to you. You sound like a wonderful and caring person who's just had a few too many blows, and needs some time to recuperate.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hello lovely and welcome. Things in life always happen for a reason and i know it's hard to see this right now but this is def a blessing in disguise. You are meant to be with someone who loves you accepts you completely you do not this narcissist in your life bc who is most important right now is you and ur beautiful kids xx Please try to take this as a learning experience and don't be too hard on yourself as you deserve way better than this life as you already have gone thru so much pain one can endure from grief. I am so sorry you have lost the people closest to you losing someone is never an easy thing to deal with but it does become easier as time goes on. Clearly ur ex's actions don't seem to bother him how he makes anyone else feel so i want you to know it shouldn't bother you what he does from now on. I know this is hard having to hear this but you don't deserve it. It's a blessing he is no longer a pert of ur life you are free from his narcissistic ways and you don't have to fight this anymore - you are free from him ur life is yours to live how you want know sweetheart just you and ur beautiful kids. your soul will heal from this believe me, write it out cry it out just don't unpack there is on thing i have taught myself over the years dealing with my own demons. I hope this has brought you some comfort and u r not facing any of this alone bc u have us welcome to this beautiful family i call the BB forum xx Venessa and please don keep in touch with us anytime u feel the need to. 🙂