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Dumped by my pregnant ex

Community Member

Hello everyone, I sadly have no many people to rely on locally as I move to Australia for university a while back. I met this girl who I felt deeply in love with in not a long time, few months later she came pregnant and I was so insecure as my income here as a student is really low but not long after I was fully convinced of having it as I love her and she really wanted it. After almos 3 months of pregnancy she became really unstable emotionally and start having doubts about having the child and like this she change her mind twice so she took me on that emotional roller coaster too. Now she is about to do abortion and doesn’t want me to be part of it and it’s better if we donde see each other ever again. A fair bit of this happens I guess because of the fact that I don’t know her for that long and I started feeling I have now idea who I’m dealing with. It’s so hard to understand why she is pushing me away in situations like this where we should stick together and she is gonna suffer and I want to support here, but she just want me away and I totally respect everything she decides. Now I find myself really depressed and anxious been smoking loads of cigarettes which I usually don’t do but I helps abut, I’ve tried reaching a few friends and family over the phone but every morning I wake up I feel like I have nothing to live for at the moment and thankfully don’t have the balls to take my life away (which I know it’s ridiculous because I’ve been single before and had a really good time as well as really bad relationship and got better after too).

some tips and thought to get myself around to get over this and be strong would be much appreciated thanks

2 Replies 2

Hi yep2,
Thanks for getting in touch and we're sorry to hear about what you're going through. Please know that you are not alone in this and there is a lot of support out there. There's always somewhere to turn to in dark times like this. We are writing to you as we are concerned about your wellbeing. We strongly encourage you to seek professional help as it is really important that you take immediate steps to keep yourself safe. You can do this by: 
- Calling our support service on 1300224636 (assitance is provided 24/7)
- Speaking to your doctor. 
- Calling 000 if you are in immidiate risk of self harm or suicide

Take care.

Community Member

I understand Australia is hard for non white ppl

Accents isolate too

Probably feeling alone if U loose ur soon to be family

In your post U mentioned that U had doubts at the beginning, but U came around.

I wonder if she is worried U might change ur mind again?

Women worry and you should not listen to her saying she doesn't want your support she needs it

If she doesn't want to see U ok, that is her right

Can U drop some groceries off to her?
With covid it's safer is she doesn't have to shop.
Does she have family to support her?

Maybe U can help her with her rent?(yeah money is tough so stop smoking and do 20 pushups instead, each push say I am a father, father's don't give up

I am only suggesting that U dig deeper in yourself

Now is the time to grow up if U want to be a father

Also don't worry about the money

You can't afford kids, no one can but somehow we make it happen and it is the best

She needs U now more than anything

She needs to know if she brings this child into the world U will be a father no matter what

Ok? Dig deep find your power

Being a father is a reason to live

Now is your time

That is my no bullshit advice

Respect her boundaries (meaning don't push into her home or follow her or any crazy stuff )
But always answer your phone when she calls or texts
When is she going to the doctor next?
Do U have a car to take her?
Can U afford to pay for the taxi and lunch?
If not bus ticket and you make a sandwich?

Just give 100%

Good luck

I hope that helped