Disposable relationships

[High_Anxiety]

Hi there,

Just wondering if anyone else is seeing that relationships and marriage are a disposable item these days?

I have been searching the net as I'm potentially going through a break up of an 8 yo marriage and there seems to be a lot of stories and examples where when life gets a little too uncomfortable with someone you just end it like tossing them away.

Why is it that some people give up so easily on people that they are supposed to love? Where has commitment gone?

Yet some of the stories in this forum show that some people tolerate so much pain yet still won't let go!

[Guest_1584]

Yep , sad but true it's sh@tty throw away world these days.

We separated 5 yrs ago and then divorced 3 and a lot of this time l've spent on the net and forums. Some singles forums too and the mentality is just bloody surreal .

They have a term for everything now, it's all over the net. They date date date and they multi date as they call it and they have 50 deal breakers as they call them and if just "one", isn't right their out and on and on it goes , it is surreal .

And marriages and the stats , yeah , so so so sad,,,, my needs aren't being met, me me me, l deserve better and back to me me me, it's as bad as the dating world and the attitudes out there just seem so lost and sooooo effd up.

lt's like if the average couple these days , won't go through 10% of what my parents went through and were married for 56yrs .

They just don't have what it takes , it's all about mememe. l just think it's so sad what the world and society is becoming . Even my marriage, we could have turned things, easily , we were once a dream come true, and if not for the mentality out there now, we would've grown old together not a doubt in my mind about that and sadly l've seen so much if it while going through my divorce.

[geoff]

unfortunately this is so true these days, people feel as though they just wash their hands of any r/ship or marriage, whereas years ago people stayed together because they're been through wars, the depression so they realise that whether or not they love their spouse 100% it's their duty to remain together, but these days it's like walk in one door and then walk out the other door when times get tough.
We don't have the commitment these days, and yes I've through it myself. Geoff.

[mrcoffee]

Hi, feels about the same, there is no commitment, it seem easier just to pack up and run, as people now days are only focused on the corner of the picture and not the entirety of what it represents. I married for better or worse, and sickness and in health, now they are in sickness and just want to run, it was like a switch had been flicked off inside, it devastated me no matter how much i show my love or try to tell them. even their friends seem the same. they think the grass isn't greener on the other side, but some people cant see what they have in front of them until its gone. I'm seeing this through my experience of what happening to me right now. its not pretty and it hurts like hell.

be there if you wish, wait if you want, give them support, but make time for you, reconnect with old friends and make new ones. some people are worth it, but so are you!

[HeavyMetalDad]

Hi H.A.

It seems to be a sad fact, I am 1month and 1 week on from being "tossed out like trash" this is even with having a young son with her. I suffered a serious neck injury and no longer meet her "needs". This woman cheated on me in our first year of the relationship, and I stuck by her, I'm such an idiot. The old better or for worse and in sickness and in health means nothing. I will ever enter a relationship again.

[Brightstar88]

Hi im 35 years old im finding it so hard to find someone to get married too or stay even in a long term committed relationship. I am in the dating stage at the moment. I have been looking for 5 years. Most guys date me for a while they seem so keep to get to know me. Then suddenly something happens and they just push me away and stop making effort as if i meant nothing. Im finding it very hurtful and its making me so depressed and hard to have hope in my life. I feel like the same thing keeps repeating. I don't want to give up finding someone I really want to get married. Should I just give up? Anyone have any advice for me?

[High_Anxiety]

Hi Brightstar88,

Don't give up on your dreams of having someone in your life, make the start by loving yourself and be OK with being by yourself. Write down all the thing you want in a partner and think about them every day, then you may be able to see the right person when they come along. Don't just settle for someone who's there at the time and maybe this pattern that you're experiencing will shift into something more meaningful. Go out into the world and be the most beautiful person you can be!!

HA

[geoff]

hello Brightstar, at the moment I think you should be wanting to find someone you can date, rather than looking for someone to marry, there are differences between these two and how you respond to them when someone comes along, not every man will be your husband but he can be a good friend. Geoff.

[Hope2BHopeful]

Hi Brightstar, I hear you! The first time I open my hear to someone after being single for 4 years and I got sucked into the dream he was selling. I feel hurt and sad. I thought we were on the same page but we clearly aren't. After one small miscommunication, he backed off. I thought being honest and open was going to build a relationship. He wanted the same thing I thought but maybe not to honest so early. I don't know if I will ever find someone who will stick around and get to know me.

[white knight]

Hi

Interesting topic

A tv dating show amused me. The young couple had their meal and got on very well. They went to the interview room where they were asked if they would date again.

"Yes, I'd love to" said the guy

"Ummm, said the girl, yes we got on well but he isnt a Christian"

And that was the end! So why did she waste everyones time? Why didnt she specify that?

Are people so narrow with their choices now?

Tony WK