Depressive episode and losing friends
I am a first time poster here and I have depression and OCD.
I have been in my high school friendship group for years, there are 5 of us. I am now 33. They have always been aware of my depression and OCD.
They have never really understood but we have had our good times and when I’ve been well I’m a great friend and I don’t discuss my day to day battles with my mental health.
Then when I have episodes I isolate and can’t find it within myself to answer texts or socialise. I have explained this to them.
In the last three months I have been in the deepest and darkest depression of my life and I have just come out of it about a week ago. So I started contacting my friends to say hi and asked to catch up.
One girl whom I considered to be the closest to me just sent me a text message ending our friendship a couple of hours ago by saying that she struggles with me cause coming in and out of her life and that when I am available she finds the frequency of my communication all encompassing and it stresses her out and effects her mental health. She said she has enjoyed our friendship over the years but feels we are going in different direction (this I don’t understand). Then she just says she doesn’t want to catch up and she hopes that I respect her decision and just wished me all the best.
I text her back asking to talk on phone about it.
She text back saying, “enough has been said and please respect my decision.
The rest of the girls are not texting me back either. I think they are all gone.
I am in shock and sad and don’t know why this is happening to me......
Hi Rainbowsunsets, I understand that you must be feeling pretty rejected and hurt at the moment. It really hurts when the people who have been in your life so long decide to go into another direction. I have been through similar situations in my life, some of them where even my family. All I can say to you is that you will get through this hurt it will just take tiny steps to recover. You will make some new friends that accepts you just as you are.
On another level have you ever tried to not isolate yourself so much. I know that it seems like you have to sometimes, and sometimes you do but there are times when pushing ourselves that little bit ends up being a positive experience. Isolation simply isn't good for any human being and small steps to stop this habit might be something that you could try to minimise. I do this too and since pushing myself to go for a walk I have been feeling much better, quicker.
Anyway I know you will get through this you sound like a very strong lady. all the best