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Dating and being more open

zodiacgirl
Community Member

Hey there,

I remember posting here before last year about an issue I was going through and got some great and much needed advice . I've asked other people for advice around this, but I don't feel I have many older adults in my life you can give me good advice, so hope I can find some here! Anyway, I feel like i'm ready to meet new people and start dating again, but I feel like I have trouble being open about myself and my life to people ? Would anyone have any tips on allowing people to get to know you ? I feel like this kind of stems from being afraid that if I open up more they may not like/reject me and I do want to overcome this..

Any tips would be great.

3 Replies 3

Nikkir
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Zodiacgirl,

Thank you for your post 🙂 I really understand and hear you and love that you want to open up and get to know people and let them into your world. I am at this point myself although I imagine much older than you. Firstly I would suggest set boundaries. It takes time to get to know someone so I would keep safe topics like interests etc to start with and make sure you feel comfortable before you open up. I think if you start small and work your way up you will build confidence. Recently I joined a few groups on meet up, which is a site for people with common interests and I went to a trivia night, it was hard to go but it wasn't one on one and it was an activity. I feel more confident to try something else now and then maybe dating or meet like minded people. I wish you all the best 🙂 the most important thing is take care and honour yourself xxx Nikkir

Thanks for the kind post nikki x i will try to take it slow and first talk about interests etc and get to know them until i feel more comfortable. I usually don't know how fast or slow to take it with someone, if i feel like i really connect with them I open up more freely and like talking to them a lot ^.^ it just makes me happy meeting new people and having a good connection. but I guess recently I've kind of shut myself off from meeting new people but want to slowly be more open. x

Hi there ZG

"if i feel like i really connect with them I open up more freely and like talking to them a lot"

I used to be a lot like you in that regard, but experience has taught be to hold back the onslaught of information, and to spoon feed it to them a little at a time. IMHO it doesn't matter how much they say they can handle it, they can't take it by the shovel full. Like Nikki says, set yourself boundaries.

I haven't read many of your posts, so I am not sure of your ailment, but if it's depression may I suggest that when you first decide to open up on that topic, that you use something a little like: "sometimes I feel a bit down, and sometimes it's a little hard to get myself back up" IMHO that's a little easier to cope with, as it doesn't sound like you are looking for someone to support you when you are down. Even if you are looking to extend your support circle, that can be a bit scary for some people, particularly if they are not sure how to help.

SB