Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Could be a major issue with my lady , not sure what to do in it. Thoughts ?

Community Member

As a few know from my other thread l met someone new about 10mths ago and again thanks so much for the help and thoughts back in that thread too it really helped . Unfortunately we have a could be a pretty big problem and l just dunno what to do about it or how to look at it.

You see she moved over to oz with her hubby 6yrs ago but they split up 2yrs later and divorced . he changed and got violent, nother story. Anyway they'd done visas and we're all set and approved but 3mths ago she got a new letter from immigration and they're reviewing their visas because they got divorced. better not go into details here but the whole thing is now the lawyer can't say whether they'll still approve her original visa or if she'll have to go for a whole new visa if the decide now something wasn't right .

Her and her h paid 14,000 for their applications 7k each , the most ridiculously dearest visa in the whole damn world that l can find by almost triple and ridiculously hard , most other countries in fact are only 3 and 400 dollars or euro . Well they were approved and basically just waiting on the official stamp so to speak and that was it.Butttt, so if she does have to reapply guess what , they don't refund the first 7k, she's gotta pay another 7k. as if the first wasn't enough, what a scam..

Anyway , l know how it might sound but nope it's all 100% legit l've seen all the original stuff from her and her ex 6mths ago because she was going through it all and showed me and l've seen the new letter even went with her to the lawyer and heard the whole story directly from him too.

l dunno wth to do . l mean we have a beautiful relationship l'd think marriage later for sure if it kept on like this but atm it's only been 10 mths and if it was any other country l couldn't care less about 3 or 400 bucks. But if it does come to that then we'd have to find about 8k all up l don't have it ex and me habe forked out a fortune on d's school this year and braces , she doesn't have near enough , l just dunno. And whatever we are , we just haven't been together long enough for me to tryst the whole sitch anyway yet.

Now l'm scared to let things go on with us right now because if worst happens there's nothing we can do, she'll probably have to leave the country and we bth end up broken hearted . The lawyer says she could know in a month or 18mths no way to tell.

82 Replies 82

Hi RX, and many thanks for getting back to us.

What I'm having trouble with trying to understand is if the visa cost $7k then why would anybody want to come here to Australia, and the other concern is that you've only been together for 5 months.

We care for you RX and there are definitely red flags waving here, and if the $7k is paid, that doesn't mean she is going to stay with you and then move on.

I know of 2 people who have been fleeced by their sons, one for $3500 and the other for $10,000, their life savings so please RX don't be persuaded into helping out or being fleeced.

Sorry RX, I mean no harm, I just want to protect you.


Community Member

Thanks for that geoff and nah , l don't want that either ya can believe me on that one.

But yep, 7k, good old Australia eh. l've wondered the same , why on earth would anyone even come here having to pay that kind of ridiculous amount , and it's one of the most expensive countries in the world in living and housing too so l'm at a loss as to how people even get started later let alone just coming up with visa money.

Do you know that that is actually one of our cheapest Australian visa's , they get far far worse. You know a parent visa so say for a parent that wants to move over for their children already living here. Is something like, you sitting down , 55,000 dollars, yep google them.kf she does get declined as l say to re apply , she has to pay yet another 7k, so 14 all up , plus legals.

lf you live in Europe , you don't even need a visa to live in any other European country, nothing. So l can not even imagine why or how anyone would even move here.

Anyway, thanks for that mate.

Hi RX, I'm still here and please keep us informed as to how you are going.


Community Member

Thanks very much for that Geoff , and to everyone else to btw while l'm at it.

But ahh mate nothing will be happening for god knows when or how long, could be 2 mths or 18, could string out 3yrs got told yesterday. My thing is though just what to do with US.

We've lived a lotta life in just the time we've been together, we've even been over renovating my cabin property together last 3wks before we left for back home again this time, She helps out at work , does lots round the house , and then there's just the us and 100s of beautiful personal times.

l mean we could be absolutely full on , life, us, the works. but l'm holding back so much especially feelings , guarding , just not being able to trust the future with her visa crap hanging over,.

l kinda think l have to get out now if l can't deal with all that in case it does happen, like we can't start life or risk it because it could be taken away in one letter,. feels like Russian roulette .

l dunno wth to do.

let it go on and hope for the best , or try walking away , wth.

Hey RX

Ive been thinking about what you are going through with the usual conflicting thoughts that we all have sometimes. It took me a long time to understand advice that I was given when I was young.....and like yourself I was worried whether or not I was doing the 'right' thing

This is difficult as there are 'financials' involved which can make any relationship lose focus.

Any relationship requires serious time to develop true Love and mutual TLC

As per my own life experience, I think its too early for dollars to be involved

Thats the best advice I can provide at this time

Hope you are doing okay RX

my kindest always


Hi paul and thanks as always for the thoughts.

Yep l fully agree that's unfortunately the dilemma . lt is way too early for any of that and to have to think about something as heavy as "maybe" visa's and stuff , crikey. lf l'm gonna be re'involved at this stage God almighty l just wanna live us for a year or two and enjoy, see what we're about and how things go. lt's all wrong having to ask myself and think about things like this so early into it l know .

She actually agrees to and always says look just try not to worry or think about it lets just enjoy and if that happens later it happens we'll deal with it then. And l love the attitude too but unfortunately l just have trouble with just letting things go full steam ahead when l feel like there could be a bloody big hammer dropping down on us at any time.

Hi RX, always good to hear back from you and I want to thank Paul for his comments only because I was also involved in a difficult situation when I was going out with then finance, now ex, unfortunately, because we decided to buy a block of land at a sort out in demand area at the beach, overlooking the bay before anyone knew, as we had to keep it a secret for different reasons.

Let your heart tell you what you need to do.

My very best.


Community Member

Thanks a million geoff.

Yaknow , even if l was to look back over life, which would do my head in anyway so l better not but , l do still often wonder about head and heart, so often seems ones is fighting with the other in life one way or another , or is that just me haha.

But funny, often these days l think the heart is what really matters in life, l dunno.

All the best/ rx

Hi RX, I think you make a good point, as usual, when our head and heart match each other then there's no problem, but when one is chasing or trying to work out why it's happening then there could be some confusion or lack of understanding.

Best wishes.


Community Member

Hey geoff, and thanks mate.

And hmmm, when they match each other ya reckon , think you might of hit the nail on the head with that one so thanks again.'

All the best. rx