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Complicated and at a complete loss

Community Member

I am in quite a complicated situation my boyfreind lives overseas but we have the same family. We are not related as he was adopted by my uncle and my boyfreind is his grandson. I was supposed to move over there and live with them all im a year which is perfect for my relationship. I was very close with my aunt and uncle untill recently. My boyfreind confided in me he was in a really bad place i had never seen him like this before i was really worried. My uncle was on the phone and called him a waste of space apparently he was joking... i reached out to my aunt and uncle and told them he is in a bad place please go easy on him. I did promise my boyfreind i wouldn't say anything i was only trying to look out for him. He has forgiven me but ny aunt and uncle cut me off completly after i told them he was in a bad place. And basicly said anything between them is none of my bussiness. Its now affecting my relationship really bad i have tried and tried to reach out to my uncle to sort this out for my bf's sake but i have been ignored i feel soo rejected when my heart was in the right place. My boyfreind wants me to try but noone else is i dont know what to do im at a loss.

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Natalie124~

Thank you for coming here, it is, as you say, complicated and is affectingly you deeply, and I'm not surprised.

You acted out of concern for your boyfriend at a time when he needed help, I think I would have done the same. He has forgiven - if that is the right word - your standing up for him, and you have nothing to reproach yourself about.

It is a pity people do not always take thngs in the spirit they are meant, and cooperate, rather than becoming hostile. Perhaps your uncle thought of it as personal criticism, rather than genuine warning your bf was unwell.

I do not know how the relationship is between your uncle and your bf, it may be he is very worried and feels he can handle matters best without help -what do you think?

It is also pretty hurtful that your uncle excluded you from something that affects you all. Is your aunt the same?

I guess supporting your bf may be the best you can do in that situation. Getting your bf to seek medical help, is probably the most useful thing of the lot.

Do you have support yourself? Family or friends do make a big difference, leaving you not as alone and isolated. At least you can talk things over.

You are always welcome here