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Christmas loneliness

Community Member

Christmas is a time that brings out joy and love, the feeling of being loved. But for me it is a time of crushing loneliness and anxiety. I’m 35, have a job, my own place, work out regularly, eat well, etc. But this time of year I’m reminded of how just empty my life is. I feel miserable most other times, but my negative feelings multiply around Christmas.

Instead of being happy, I feel like a failure for still being single. I tried dating, but having failed so often I feel emotionally broken and my confidence shot. I’ve become a bitter person who I’ve come to hate for finishing another year and still being alone. For still having nobody to love or love me back. Still nobody to share this joyous time with. Still nobody to even smile with.

I don’t have much of a support network. I have family but we are not exactly a loving family. My friends have moved on with wives and kids. My co-workers likewise. Every Christmas I go through this, and there is only small relief for me when the new year starts and things get back to normal.

I know there are people out there doing it much tougher around this time of the year, and my problems seem small compared to the hardship others are experiencing. I guess I needed to get this off my chest. Just wish I could cope better at this time of year.

Merry xmas to everyone.

4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi there LH101

lately I have been feeling similar to you, particularly in the dating department. what keeps me trying is the song: Standing Outside the Fire by Garth Brooks. (have a Google for the lyrics)

the problem with dating, particularly when we're older, is many people have a long long list of must have's and deal breakers that a potential suiter needs to get through before there is even a first date. It's not like when we were young and anything could be worked through. Anyhow, I suggest that you throw away your list and get out there and date people who you wouldn't have previously dated. You're in a new stage in your life, and you need a new standard which to select your dates; the old method just isn't working.

(and what's that saying about doing the same thing again and again and hoping for a different result?) Right, that's the one. Anyhow, let's do something different. as unless we change our approach, we're just going to end up with the same result.



Community Member

Hi lonelyheart101,

I am sorry to read what you are currently going through. Christmas can be such a tough time of the year especially when the feelings of loneliness are about. What do you normally do around Christmas to try and brighten it up? Has anything at all helped in the past. I know you more wanted to get it off your chest by writing this post but I want you to know that I hear you and I do hope things get better for you.

One thing I would suggest is the Beyond Blue Christmas Chillout Lounge, it is a great place to just talk about random stuff with people on the forums who may be feeling similar to yourself.

I do hope you have a great Christmas however.

My best for you,


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Lonelyheart, Christmas time can be so lonely for many people, whether you're single, married or in a partnership and it can vary from year to year, but just because you don't have a partner doesn't mean that you're a failure, perhaps unlucky but it can change sometime in the future.
Everybody's MI can range from different degrees, but it doesn't matter one bit because if you are feeling that low then it deserves to be attended to.
There is an old saying the 'the harder you try the harder it is', so there maybe someone you make conversation with where you ask them out, don't give up yet.
Have a Good Xmas and I will be by myself on Xmas day as well. Geoff.

Community Member

Dear Loneyheart,

I know exactly what you are going through. I'm going it myself. Single from a broken heart, the ,loneliness of it all, wasting the year. That's why I scrolling through the threads trying to get support from what other people have said. I hate it too, trying to make myself feel happier. Know that your not alone, there are so many nice and wonderful here.

Belle x