Christmas Dread

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

I couldn't decide where to post, but loneliness fits. This is not my first time spending Christmas alone, but for some reason two days out and I feel quite panicky and gross just thinking about it. I really just can't wait until it's over. It doesn't help that everything stops/closes for a period, contributing to that sense of isolation. I try and tell myself "it's just another day" and it's not even today, or tomorrow, but my body and mind are unconvinced, and I feel rubbish. I'm doing whatever it is I would normally be doing, but not feeling good. And I've ordered some yummy food to eat Christmas Day and bought myself a gift, but just can't shake the grossness and not sure what else to do.

[Croix]

Dear Katy~

You have given some pretty good advice to other people and if you need some yourself that 's only fair.

I guess being alone at Christmas is a pretty daunting thing, the reputation of Christmas is of getting together, families, good times. very much a contrast from sitting alone at home.

I would like ot make a couple of suggestions, you never know, one might appeal.

You have mentioed how much you enjoy the beach and my impression is you do not live too far away from one. Do you think having your lunch lunch on one and maybe talking wiht anyone else doing the same thing  might help? If you are a bit shy of talking find someone wiht a nice pet dog walking along and talk about that, pets make many people friendlier and are good to talk about.

Another thing to consider might be seeing if you could volunteer for the day, there are a lot of organizations, the Salvos, Red Cross, St Vinnie's and more, all of whom need help to distribute food and gifts, provide meals and other services. They are good people and normally very welcoming. There can be a very friendly and cheerful atmosphere. quite different from being alone.

So what do you think?

Croix

[DyingStar]

I hear you Katy and relate to you so much.  I think there are perhaps more people spending Christmas alone than we know, and I'm sure there are a lot of people who aren't spending Christmas alone but wish they could!   Loneliness sucks!  But at the same time, freedom rocks!!  It's such a hot couple of days around, if I didn't have my obligations I'd go to a quiet beach, or the blue mountains for a walk, or simply chill under a tree in a big park for a few hours.   Not sure what you think about 'organised religion' lol, but I've also decided to go to the local Anglican church for their Christmas eve service tonight.  

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Thanks Croix

I like the idea of going to the beach, especially the dog beach where I can enjoy watching the dogs happy and playing. In fact, I think it would be better than the other beaches where families gathering could be triggering. Volunteering would also be good, but I'm not familiar with any local services that continue to operate during this period, most or all are taking at least a short break, including the place where I regularly volunteer. Thanks for your reply. Sometimes just to share, and be heard, is helpful in itself, so thankyou. 

Hi DyingStar

Thanks also for your response. I'm sorry you can relate to my post. It's such a challenging time for so many. Normally I adore getting out in nature and spending time alone. But there's just something about Christmas Day. I guess it's the thinking that everyone else has people and things going on, but as you point out that's not really true, and there's people who'd rather be alone but aren't. Complicated! I hope your Christmas is peaceful and you enjoy the church service. 

Katy

[Guest_1584]

Hi Katy and merry Christmas hey .

lt is a very weird time if we're alone ha, often even worse if we aren't though too right. So many getting trapped into in laws and situations they dread, family dramas and all the trapping things have become for so many.

Use to be me a lot of the time too but since divorce quite a few alone Chrissies. Went to the beach on a couple , watched movies on one, worked on the car another- one place l draw the line though is food ha ha, hell yeah. l spend up load the fridge yum food and deserts even if l'll be alone.

One thing hits me after any Christmas day is that it's amazing how fast it just flies by and before you know it's the next day streets , shops, cars and neighbours are all just out and about and all normal again.

Tonight l'll be alone and wake up alone tom. My d might be over later but she might not too. Pretty sure l'll at least be alone till 3 or 4 tom if not the whole day she has a situation atm so she might show might not. We were just gonna eat up and chill out anyway so l'll just think of all the married couples out there been dreading the day or inlaws or fights or pressures or the God knows what 6mths now while l'm living it up.

Take care and enjoy the yum stuff.

rx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey rx 

Thanks for your post and best wishes to you too. I think you’re right, of course, as I didn’t like family Christmases either. All day cooking and cleaning, and awkward questions from family members. I’d really just like to see my son but neither of us have transport, and so be it. I like the idea of good food, and I think plum pudding for breakfast might help, so I’m going to brave the shop and look for one! Hope your day is a peaceful one. Thanks for the support. Katy 

[Guest_1584]

Hey katy.

Funny , yesterday l went for plumb pudding and they didn't have any, ouch , the crime of it. Went somehwere else and they were out too , l mean the worlds a mess.

l'm really sorry you won't catch up with your son , that'd be really nice for you.

Thanks very much you too , and have nice day for you.

rx

[HelloGail]

Katyontheha, I am alone too. My plans are similar to yours, I have a well supply of summer fruit and goodies, no alcohol though for me. I do not listen to the TV to avoid all the Christmas reminders but fortunate to have Netflix and can choose what I wish to see. I am looking forward to it too passing. Enjoy your gift and goodies. 

[geoff]

Hello Katyonthehamsterwheel, you are not alone and even though people may have others around them there is no joy, because a sense of trying and pretending when our grandkids are with us is hard work.

There are many people who aren't religious and wonder why the world can't function just like another day.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

rx -- no plum pudding is indeed a tragedy! Hope your day's going ok otherwise. Merry Xmas!

HelloGail -- sorry to hear you're also alone. Netflix is indeed good company. Hope you find something good to watch. I think I'll hire the newish Jurassic Park later on. Sending you kind thoughts.

geoff -- it will definitely be nice for things to feel back to normal again tomorrow. Hope you're managing the day ok. Kind wishes.

Katy