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Chosen Family

Community Member
I was advised to escape from my enmeshed family by my then psychologist. Putting together a caring chosen family has worked wonders until the pandemic. The restrictions meant that my circle of activities came to a screeching halt. When restrictions started to be lifted families could once again get together - but not our chosen family - we were not flesh and blood. So meeting as a 'family' was still not possible. So while the media showed families getting together ours couldn't. Nothing has changed for us since restrictions were lifted. I really think the government should redefine what family means. I think it should be those who love and cherish each other and look out for each other - something my biological family could never do for me, except my mother who now has dementia. Being on my own isn't nice but it infinitely better than being with my biological family. Please think about us orphans who have had to do all this on our own. Sometimes I have wished I could catch Covid 19 and be done with life because life without my chosen family is no life at all. I am not suicidal but I do wish the Government could think social isolation/ distancing through a bit better. I hope you are all safe and as well as can e expected.
3 Replies 3

Hi Independent,

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences here with us, it takes a lot of courage to open up and reach out. We're really sorry to hear how difficult this pandemic has been on you and your chosen family, and understand that this must have been really isolating and lonely. But please know that you're not alone and there will be members of this community who can relate to what you are describing.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website is regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348 if you'd like to talk these feelings through.

Please also feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

hi Independent,
I hear you

Some people are enclosed in living situations now with "family" who are not safe

and some like you want the support of non-family members, who are truly, all that family represents.

It has been harder to access social support over this time, for sure. And we all deserve somewhere safe to be. I hope you can reconnect soon with your chosen family

Community Member
I received a reply from the Public Guardian on Friday. They don't make any decisions for me but are there for me in the future should I ever need them. The lady who contacted me is getting in touch with my Doctor in order to organise some support for me - hopefully on a weekly basis at least until our chosen family can meet again. Some face to face contact is important I feel. I need to see the person I speak to. Also, last year I had a fall that fracture three bones and I lay on the floor until I could make it to the phone to call the ambulance. What I fear most of all at the moment is dying in my house alone. So having someone check on me is important and that can't happen during the pandemic. Also having a phone consult won't help if I am lying on the floor and unable to phone anyone. There is far to much emphasis on phone consults and little thought put in in providing people who can check your physical well being. Lying on the floor last year after my fall has frightened me for this pandemic knowing no one can check on my safety and check to see if I am still alive.