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boyfriend pushing me away because of depression

Community Member
there is this amazing guy that i met, we liked each other. he asked me out and i made him wait because i needed to clear my head as i had my problems and i wanted to be sure. throughout our time together and getting to know him, he mentioned about being sad and his darkest hours but never admitted to having depression. although i knew, something about him didn't entirely seem right (happy). not till the day when i said yes to him. when i said yes to him, he was so happy and kissed my forehead before he had to leave to go home. when i got home he texted me saying that its not going to work out and used the "i like you but i dont feel the same" to try and push me away. he later opened up and admitted that he is going through really bad depression as of now and he doesnt want me involved in it or else i might get hurt from him. then added "i really am sorry but this is what is best for you. i promise". i really like this guy, more than anyone could ever know, his special and his the best person i have ever met and i feel terrible because I can help him. i message him small little things everyday to remind him im here and that i miss him. i wish he gave me a chance to prove that i can help him.

what can i do? what do i do? what can i do to get him back.
i dont want him to suffer, because he deserves so much love and i know i can give that to him. please help me get him back.
2 Replies 2

Community Member
note: he ignores my messages and just reads them, also tries to avoid my friends that know that can approach him or are approaching him.

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi P.U. welcome

Firstly, you as a person (like many) is very limited as to what you can do to help him. We can believe that we have an abundance of love and that love will....fix everything for that person. Not necessarily.

Also, he had to help himself. Many with mental illness don't do so for their own reasons. Such reasons are variable.

Finally, you must remember that "charity begins at home"... In that you need to primarily look after yourself. If he does not portray feelings that he wants to be with you then you are hoping....and hoping isn't enough foundation for a sound relationship.

Moving on won't be easy. You'll need to focus on having move fun time with your friends and your sports and hobbies.

I know all this won't be easy for you to read. But I can assure you that a willing bf is a good boyfriend and he will enter your life one day. Unless this current guy makes more effort. One way relationships don't work.

Tony WK