Being an Old Soul
Currently whilst being on my hiatus of self growth and discovery I have particularly noticed that I have a tendency to feel incredibly lonesome and wanting, wishing and seeking to find my tribe. I'm an eccentric, passionate, flamboyant and charismatic young person who is just merely wanting to find my place in the world. It has become apparent, to me that it is awfully difficult to find others of my age bracket that wear vintage clothes, admire antique furnishings, listen to psychedelic , classic, experimental rock/blues music or even have an idea of what I am talking about. I find my generation far too superficial, perhaps needy and undetermined to be different and unusual. I flaunt my uniqueness wherever I go with bold, loud and fierce vintage styles (consisting of loads of flowers, colours and my wicked collection of go go boots too) Like I said I'm confident with who I am and what I like ; I would NEVER change for the world... I just feel that my uniqueness and capability of freely sharing my self expression may intimidate or even perhaps scare other people my age a way. I am awkward around others my age because I don't really know how to speak to them. One problem being because I am not at all intrigued in modern societies' fads that seem to go out style within five minutes.. like I said I would rather sip my herbal tea and listen to my records on my turntable than attend drug or alcohol parties.
I also live in an area that does not really seem to encourage nor support my idea of being unusual. The environment around me makes me think that self expression is not acceptable and I should just be restricted to supporting the ways of the so called 'social NORM'
l'm city raised then left. When l go back now although in ways and places l just slip straight back into city mode, l don't like it . The people and traffic and stress of it all humans just weren't meant to live imo. Add the rst of life and everything else going on in the world,
Yeah , nature is our free gift from the Gods, same with affection, intimacy . love. laughter, oceans and rivers birds and trees , sky , air, all free and the best life has to offer at that, wouldn't you say. l love even just stepping outside and of the porch onto the grass bare feet, even as simple as that, with the earth under sky and air, after a few hours of brain fk inside on the computer , or other stresses or feelings , it's instant, the difference is beyond.
l'm hoping for a bush block too. You know that's a bit of an example for you too, because in the right areas for you , there'll be others similar to you , living that life for all the same reasons and needing to be free of all the similar things . l know spots like that with brilliant people scattered through , of grid and mud bricks , dome houses and all kinds of thinking.
Keep the faith
Thought of you when listening to the song 'This is me' from 'The Greatest Showman'. Very empowering words for those who are naturally powerful yet misunderstood. This song seriously raises me to believe that I should be proud of my unique and loving natural self. Have a listen to every word. Hope it raises you too.
I too am an old soul. People joke that I'm a time traveller from the 1950's.
I too don't like big cities. I live in Hobart - that's big enough for me. When I go to the bigger cities I am always relieved to get home.
A song you might like is "I just wasn't made for these times" by the Beach Boys - I relate to it big time!
I've chosen this thread to talk to you as it seems closely related to trouble I read elsewhere - that you were having at school.
If I remember your words the schoolwork, subjects and their inherent interest is something you enjoy. In that really you are blessed. The ones that relate to you are the teachers, the adults. It's no surprise its it? You are more on their level.
Your peers are a problem, and I think that may come from two sources -perhaps you might not agree.
The first is that your interests simply do not coincide with theirs, howw many are fascinated by "vintage clothes, antique furnishings, listen to psychedelic , classic, experimental rock/blues music" not to mention your more philosophic bent. It is small wonder they do not respond to your conversational overtures, except hopefully to be polite.
There other people in the world who are very similar to you, even at a comparable age, however they are relatively rare. Hopefully you will find some, you certainly have the intelligence to set the wheels in motion.
The other thing is that you have said you have had an anxiety condition and also have a separated home, with unhappy episodes in your past. Anxiety may well unjustifiably magnify the significance of your situation, and if it manifests as it does in me, leads one to think the worst, and the most unhappy outcomes.
It can also make more significance of if people care. Frankly in the world not an awful lot do, though many are polite, even thoughtful. To have ones that realy care is something special and does not happen that often. Your dad is one that does, I do not know enough about your life to cite others. There even may be one at school, I don't know.
Mary (White Rose) makes reference to a book:
Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World by Ilse Sand.
in the thread
I found a copy on-line and it does ring a lot of bells.