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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Yetti Inner battle
  • replies: 5

For myself having depression on the best of days sucks and to make it worse its something that seems to run on both sides of the family. The hardest part tho is i feel two parts to me the outer me trying to go day to day and the inner me which is scr... View more

For myself having depression on the best of days sucks and to make it worse its something that seems to run on both sides of the family. The hardest part tho is i feel two parts to me the outer me trying to go day to day and the inner me which is screaming and screaming and even abuses me and puts me down that i get to a point i get confused and selfish feel no quilt. Which sadly goes to me thinking im not worth the time and day and some stage my partner will be sick of me so i go out of my way to destroy what i have and im at a loss.

Sweetaspie I feel like I am losing the plot/sabotaging my relationship because I am anxious/depressed
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have had a couple of bouts of anxiety and depression since I was a teenager(3/4) and I feel that the way I am behaving now may be the sign I am in another. I have been in this relationship for near 17 years now(since school) and this past 6... View more

Hi all, I have had a couple of bouts of anxiety and depression since I was a teenager(3/4) and I feel that the way I am behaving now may be the sign I am in another. I have been in this relationship for near 17 years now(since school) and this past 6 months have been a testing time for us. We moved to the otherside of the world (UK to Australia) and we do like it here. But my issues are now boiling up due to a lack of communication on my part and worries which my partner doesn't pick up on when I attempt to talk about it. Its my own fault because I don't articulate myself very well to him. I think I am always worried that if I tell him all that I will lose him. (not been cheating, its more my fears, worries and financial status. As well as our daughter) I am making myself so ill because of it and today I lost the plot over something so small that then escalated into me calling him horrid names, telling him i hated him and that I was taking our daughter and going home (to England). The thing is I don't know why I did it. I mean he went out with our daughter because i felt unwell, (so to give me space) and I texted him these awful things. What is wrong with me? I do love him and I want to be with him, (I wouldnt have quit my job and uprooted if I didnt) I have never felt as mentally drained as I do now) He is so mad (every right to be) and I dont know what to do. He looks so defeated that I think he has now drawn the line under the relationship. I am here today to ask for advice on what I should do. Part of me feels like giving up (Im embarrassed because he screenshotted the messages and sent them to his mum, who has never thought I was good enough for her son) so I feel this will full more there, but also because I think he can do better. but the other half is like, you have spent 17 years with this man, you love him and you have a daughter together. I am super down about the fact I cant seem to get a job in my field and that has been so hard because I havent done any other work in 15 years (I am an ODP in the uk and I was told we could work here, but Sydney seems to not have any jobs for my skill set) I dont have the money to retrain and I cant convert my qualifications to nursing. So I just feel so emotionally/ mentally exhausted. Sorry for venting. any advice to get me out of this funk and seeing clearly, would be appreciated.

lost_husband_2016 end of the road
  • replies: 5

Hey,well i wrote out my story to post and i was 7000 characters over the limit! guess I've got a lot on my mind. So here's the short version, 8 years into a relationship, 1 year into a marriage, my wife suddenly seemed to change, and didn't like thin... View more

Hey,well i wrote out my story to post and i was 7000 characters over the limit! guess I've got a lot on my mind. So here's the short version, 8 years into a relationship, 1 year into a marriage, my wife suddenly seemed to change, and didn't like things about my character. She'd lost her mum 2 years before, and seemed to get down into a bit of a hole after that I was concerned enough at the time to suggest seeing someone about it, she didn't take it up. She's always had her ups and downs, but about a year ago it just seemed to increase and just keep on going on a slippery slope. It didn't matter what I said, she would have a negative spin on it. Not just me and her but everything about her life, disappointment in work, disappointment in friends, disappointment in family, feeling disconnected to people and that she hadn't achieved enough in her life ( only 29 and had achieved a PHD, unfortunately the dream job didn't follow ). Out of nowhere we started fighting, when we never had before hand for years, and she continued down the slope. Many job rejections followed, and she ended up saying she wanted to kill herself (not in a joking manner, in a i'm really concerned and worried manner) after one rejection and broke down. Not long after this she was looking for many escapes from our life together, all sorts of trips away. But ended up taking off on a drive around the country. While she was away she called me on day and said if we are going to continue our relationship i need to tell you something. She told me she was in love with one of her co-workers and had been ready to leave me but they had told her she needed marriage counseling.We kept talking from here until one day she told me she had no energy for our relationship and that she just couldn't give me what i needed. We kept trying to work things out after that and she eventually came home for a period......and started to try doing a course at home.....but couldn't get into and took a job away..she'd finally started to admit that maybe something else was going on there could be some depression, ie seeing a psychologist looking at beyond blue..but at this point,she's told me she wants to be alone and has no energy for the relationship, needs to focus on herself and has moved her stuff out of the house,i think my marriage is over.She's told me she has doubts in everything,but that includes me and can't live with the doubt that maybe there is someone else.I'm feeling lumped in to all the bad feelings.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

bmlaaa Help needed! (Trigger warning: family violence)
  • replies: 2

I need to get help, but I just can't get past the first step. My life feels like it is falling apart, I do not know or like the woman I have become. Would you forgive your husband if he punched you once after you punched him repeatedly? All I ever se... View more

I need to get help, but I just can't get past the first step. My life feels like it is falling apart, I do not know or like the woman I have become. Would you forgive your husband if he punched you once after you punched him repeatedly? All I ever seem to do is yell and scream at my kids, I hate it and I hate myself. I don't know what to do, my 5 year old daughter's heart is broken as I told my husband to leave today, I don't want to break her heart but what about mine? I feel like I want him to stay as I can't cope with my three children alone, but that isn't healthy or right, I am raising my three beautiful children around anger, resentment and hatrid, and they deserve more then that. Sorry for my rambling, I just have no one to turn to, I am always the one who listens to others, I feel like I always try and be there for others but no one has ever actually been there for me, and I find it so hard to open up about my feelings and what has been happening in my life. Thank you xo

Flames So confused
  • replies: 2

Hello! I'm hoping to get some advice.. my first marriage ended in divorce. We had a child who was 1. He cheated for 12 months with a girl and left for her. They are still together 6 yrs later. I remarried quickly. I great guy who I love deeply. 3 mon... View more

Hello! I'm hoping to get some advice.. my first marriage ended in divorce. We had a child who was 1. He cheated for 12 months with a girl and left for her. They are still together 6 yrs later. I remarried quickly. I great guy who I love deeply. 3 months ago I asked him who he chats to on his phone (text messaging). I knew it was a girl from his work but I asked anyway. He literally stood up and told me he's moving out. i couldn't afford the rent so I've packed up my two kids (one to each husband) and moved in with my nan two hours drive away. I've had to leave my job. Shortly after the break up we went on a family holiday which had been booked for 6 months before we split. He spent most of his time texting her. Now he's making an effort. He visits and does say he want to try to get back together. Duting the week he doesn't talk to me. He doesn't ask how I'm setting in here. Seems like he has nothing to talk to me about. I am so paranoid about his "close" friendship with this girl it's driving me crazy. I don't know anyone here, I have no job and all I really have left is my kids. I'm lucky that I have them but I think I've let them down being from a broken family. My son has seen me dumped twice now. I don't know where to go from here. I want to be with my husband again but his relationship is eating me up.

Lea1 My adult son......
  • replies: 12

I have a 21yr old son whom has been in trouble since early teens. He has in the past committed crimes, spent time in jail, self harmed done drugs and cannot hold down a job. He has anger issues and when confronted with any situation he doesn't like f... View more

I have a 21yr old son whom has been in trouble since early teens. He has in the past committed crimes, spent time in jail, self harmed done drugs and cannot hold down a job. He has anger issues and when confronted with any situation he doesn't like flies off his rocker. His anger has always scared me. My husband and he dislike each other and so I have been a referee for years. We've spent countless hours and thousands on phycologists but nothing has worked. He lays about all day staying up all night. He has moved in and out of home several times. I am so tired he makes me think aweful things just so I no longer have to deal with him anymore. My husband is away alot sometimes for months and I've raised 2 boys a majority of the time alone. He blames everyone else for his situation and problems, nothing is ever his fault. My husband just gets angry calls him lazy and wants to kick him out. I don't want my son living on the street and that is where he will end up as he has nowhere else to go. Centrelink won't give him money due to him living at home according to them his father earns too much. I am also responsible for my elderly grandmother and disabled 65yr old uncle whom thank goodness have care homes where they are safe and warm. My sons constant problems with life in general have got me down in the past almost to suicide. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Sammy02 Coping with jealous husband
  • replies: 5

Hi I was seeking some opinions with dealing with a jealous husband. I have a male work colleague that has asked to car pool to work which I did once now my husband has demanded it stop. I have never cheated and for 27 years have deliberately not gone... View more

Hi I was seeking some opinions with dealing with a jealous husband. I have a male work colleague that has asked to car pool to work which I did once now my husband has demanded it stop. I have never cheated and for 27 years have deliberately not gone out or had many friends due to his jealously. I have told him it hurts that he doesn't trust me. Am I in the wrong for the car pooling?

Chicken82 Anxiety about sleeping next to my partner.
  • replies: 3

Hi All. First post here, but I am becoming desperate. My partner and I have been together for about 8 years. After some initial teething problems about sharing a bed I was fine for years. 2 years ago he moved out. We got back together but stayed livi... View more

Hi All. First post here, but I am becoming desperate. My partner and I have been together for about 8 years. After some initial teething problems about sharing a bed I was fine for years. 2 years ago he moved out. We got back together but stayed living apart until about 4 weeks ago. During this time he would still come and stay on weekends and holidays and I slept no problem at all. Now it is a completely different story. I am still ok on the weekends, but during the week is a nightmare. He has a "bedtime" of 10pm which I struggle with. His snoring drives me nuts. I try to sleep on the couch but I can still hear him snoring and its anything but comfortable. I have spoken to him about the possibility of seperate beds but he takes that all too personally and thinks I dont want to sleep with him. He says that if I can sleep next to him on the weekends then there is no reason I cant do it during the week. In a way I do agree, but there are less stresses on the weekends, we go to bed later, we dont have to get up for work in the morning. I am averaging falling asleep about 3.30am and have to get up at 6 and it is killing me. I dont know if anyone can help or if this is just me venting, but thanks for reading.

Icarus1964 Carer and husband
  • replies: 4

My wife of 30 years has several severe medical conditions and recently our oldest son left home to start university since then she has become very moody. I seem to be the person whom she gets mad at the most ,it feels to me as if she is pushing me aw... View more

My wife of 30 years has several severe medical conditions and recently our oldest son left home to start university since then she has become very moody. I seem to be the person whom she gets mad at the most ,it feels to me as if she is pushing me away. I know I love her and have always been faithful to her but she constantly accuses me of having an affair or not loving her anymore. I'm almost at the stage of saying forget it. But if I do I know it will be the end of me but I don't know how long I can stand being treated like this. I want to stay and I hope things will get better but sometimes I feel so depressed that I can't sleep. I am her full time carer and with her nearly all the time I am only away from her when I'm out doing errands.

bk87 Feeling disconnected from my husband..
  • replies: 1

Hi.. First time poster. I'm feeling very low lately and I dnt know what to do. Iv been with my husband for 6 years, married for 2. Things have never been perfect but I love him. I feel like I'm always having to compromise myself for him and that if I... View more

Hi.. First time poster. I'm feeling very low lately and I dnt know what to do. Iv been with my husband for 6 years, married for 2. Things have never been perfect but I love him. I feel like I'm always having to compromise myself for him and that if I don't, things just won't work. Iv only realised this is the case in the past few years. It's got to the point where I have to try n watch what I say to him to not make him angry. I feel like he would rather spend his time with his friends instead of me, and im slowly catching him out lying to me about it. I always feel like I'm put last. I feel really unappreciated and taken for granted. I feel like I give him anything and everything he asks for but never seem to get the same back. He doesn't enjoy doing spontaneous couple things that people should do.. And everytime I suggest we do or go somewhere he always says no. I'm so sick of it. He has to get his way with everything and it seems what I ever want isn't important. When his upset I'm the one he takes it out on.. Always. He speaks to me rudely, immaturely and sometimes calls me names. The more I think about this as I'm writing it making me realise how unhappy I have been. I just dnt know what to do... I feel alone.. Most the time. And as much as I hate to admit it, maybe he isn't good for me.. Even though I love him.

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